day in a life

Is life a pursuit of happiness. There is always something more we want or think we need. When I was a kid and a teenager all I wanted was a dog, not a day went by without me longing for a little puppy. When I was 15 I got my dog, he sure makes me happy and I can say without hesitating that I wouldn't be here without Spock. This was the first time I felt unconditional love and I knew he needed me as much I as I him. In my deepest depression he made me happy, he literally kept me alive. But I also wanted the sweetest boyfriend. Then later on I got the boyfriend and I had my dog and I pushed this little feeling in the back of my mind away, you know the feeling, when your not really in love. I knew he really loved me, then I got pregnant, I can't say I was overwhelmed with joy, I was so sick that they where the worst 9 months of my life. then he was born and again I felt unconditional love for someone. I spent 4 more years in a relationship I wasn't happy in and kept telling myself that I would find happiness one day. That day finally came when I was single again. I was/am so happy to be alone. but I still want the same thing, not to be alone. I know there is a lot more that I want too, like finishing my education. but school is definetly not what I think about when I go to bed. I need to know how to be alone. I should try and focus more on my books. they where my first love after all.