day in a life

my precious little boy will be spending the week with his dad. he left around noon today and I don't really know when he'll be back, 'when we feel like it' as his dad put it. they are going to visit his grandparents and when his dad dosen't want to spend more time with his parents he will bring the boy back, maybe in 3 days and maybe 7... my mom said that I can't 'return' the boy to his dad when I 'feel like it' why should he?... well the thing is I know my ex and I don't want to force him to spend a WHOLE WEEK with his son and I always want to have the boy with me so if he only spends 3 to 5 days with him then that is OK.

well I feel like I'm changing allot these days. for the first time in my life,this is not a joke, I want to look good, for myself. I never wear make up, I used to put a mascara on only at christmas or weddings. I put it on almost every day now. I don't put my hair in an ikea clip , well not as much, I even comb my hair every day. before I did that like once a week. I bought myself a dress the other day! in a second hand shop and my son, my 4 year old son was so happy to see his mom in a dress he didn't want me to wash it just wear it... he loves clothes. don't know where he gets it from....

I am just trying to have enough to do while he is gone because I'm scared that if I stop I'll just start to cry and miss him even more...

it's amazing the affect kids have on you. I have to admit that I never wanted to have kids, but I always said that if I'd get pregnant I would be happy about it. I never would have thought though that I could be this happy. even though I have to say that I don't think I want to have more kids.. when I'm good and ready I'll find myself a single dad so there is no pressure

well I'm gonna get back to my glass of white (another thing I never used to do)...