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Progymnasmata

Blood Suckers

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by
The Comedian
, 05-18-2010 at 10:37 AM (2764 Views)
One of my favorite authors, Edward Abbey, wrote that if re-incarnation were possible, he'd like to come back to earth as a turkey vulture:



Silent. Aloof. And does the dirty work. "Let us praise the noble turkey vulture: No one envies him; he harms nobody; and he contemplates our little world from a most serene and noble height" Abbey wrote.

Well, it's late spring here the American north. And to me that means one thing before all others blood suckers: ticks, mosquitoes, deer flies, leeches. . . Just the other day I had pull a wood tick from the back of my daughter's neck.

They're ugly suckers:

.

It had lodged into her skin and was starting to siphon her O-. If I'd let it stay there, it could morph from the size of a sesame seed to the size of a small grape. I flushed the little guy down the potty after I used a pair of tweezers to pluck it out of her skin.

Later that day I picked off a deer tick from my other daughter. Luckily, it hadn't dug in yet. They spread Lyme disease, which is nasty.

Here's one of those creepy crawlies:



Coming into work today, as I walked from my car to my office, I swatted a mosquito on my shirt and smeared a dab of my own blood over my sleeve.

And pretty soon, we'll start to swim in the lakes and rivers around our place. And eventually, either me, my wife, or my kids will have pull one of these aquatic suckers from our skin:



Usually, if you pull 'em off quickly, it doesn't hurt too much.

Here's the thing -- if reincarnation does exist, I think I'd like to come back as one of these blood suckers. There's poetry in their existence. And tragedy too: they're despised because they seek to bond with another. They don't ask too much, yet we kill them with a perverse pleasure that we wouldn't take with almost any other kill that we make. It doesn't sound like a glamorous life, being a wood tick, but I'd like to give it a try.

The courage of risking notice and death, the courage of clinging to something as violent and massive as we must be to them (sort of like us trying to stick to a T-Rex and in the process piss it off). . . . This Pabst is for you, brave little tick! Next time I see you, I'll be sure to revere you for a second or two before I crush you between my fingernails!

What? You thought this blog was going to be about vampires?

Updated 05-18-2010 at 08:10 PM by The Comedian

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  1. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I was thinking the IRS My son, Mason, had tick fever a year and a half ago. He's only back to himslef over the past four or five months. It was rough. One life is enough for me, unless I could do this one over. I don't think I would change much, though.
  2. applepie's Avatar
    :lol: Of all the things to want to be. I was cringing at the images. I don't mind insects or anything, but ticks give me issues. They're one of the only ones that make me cringe when I see them, and I'll just and scream like a girl when I find them on me or the kids. I think some of it is the disease part.
  3. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I had to pick ticks off my cats a couple of times and just had to give my chat his flea treatment today. Leaches I have always that were kind of cool, never seen one in person before.
  4. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    Eeeeeyuck. I am shuddering!
  5. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    Huh. I never looked at it that way. I've always hated ticks with a violent passion (more than any of the other bloodsuckers, including leeches). They're damned hard to get off of your neck, whereas with a leech you just have to put salt on it. What method do you use to get them off?
    Updated 05-18-2010 at 06:02 PM by JuniperWoolf
  6. Paulclem's Avatar
    Fascinating. We have a slight problem with Lymes disease in the UK. I saw a programe on it last year. Nasty. interesting blog.
  7. qimissung's Avatar
    I'll rate this 3 ***'s out of 5 on the Edward Abbey/Thoreau-ness of the blog. It takes imagination to see beauty in the tick. Like most everyone I am offended that his life blood should be my life blood-and to leave as a parting gift a dangerous illness-what nerve!

    Leeches I don't like, but I mind less. There was a creek near our house and we waded there in the spring and summer and would occasionally come out with them attached to our shins. Yuck.
  8. Virgil's Avatar
    This was a great read in an icky sort of way.
  9. The Comedian's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
    Huh. I never looked at it that way. I've always hated ticks with a violent passion (more than any of the other bloodsuckers, including leeches). They're damned hard to get off of your neck, whereas with a leech you just have to put salt on it. What method do you use to get them off?
    Hey Juniper -- To pluck an embedded tick, I just get my wife's tweezers and then get them as close the skin where the tick's head is embedded, then, I give it a good, straight pull. Yoink! If the kid cries and I see that I have pulled a small piece of skin in the process, then I know that I've got the tick's head out too (which is good).

    The dangerous part about picking ticks is if you don't get the head out, then it can get infected. Then I usually get one of my wife's cotton balls (very hand, beauty products) blot it with some and some ethyl (rubbing) alcohol. Then I apply that to the spot of tick extraction (just to help ward any possible infection).
  10. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    Ahh, that's a pretty good technique. I had a friend who got a tick under his arm, and he decided the best thing to do would be burn it with a cigarette. THAT was gross.
  11. NikolaiI's Avatar
    Don't forget to wash your hands after you pull out the tick... :)


    To me, leeches are worse than ticks. I've only gotten a few stuck on me, as a kid, and I was sickened by it every time.

    Ticks are of course unpleasant but not nearly as bad in my case. Of course, if you get on in the worst of places, then they are pretty awful - really. :sick: !


    'course you gotta love the Terminix logo you've got which comes up at the top of the blog post... :)
    Updated 05-20-2010 at 11:02 PM by NikolaiI