Thank You

[Ickmeister]

Responsibility is new to me, at this level and grade
No longer am I bored with this life, torn to peices inside
Lust is my main offender, meet a new woman and then, they're used
No longer will I give in to malicious temptation, from now on I'm free
Free from the greedy, lusty, gluttonous wants of the world
My heart has a new groundskeeper, and he is the best, his name is Jesus
Jesus Barjoseph, Christ the King. Thank you, my friend. To the end, my friend. I'll see it through, beat it to submission, and then I'll send home to it's place of pain.

[Ickmeister]

Please give me any advice that you have. I wasn't trying to rhyme anywhere so that is not a problem.

[Koa]

It's rather original...not a very classical style...which is cool :)

And is 'to the end my friend' a reference to The Doors, or just a coincindence? ;) 'end' and 'friend' sound veryn rhythmical together :)

[Ickmeister]

Thank you, The only song I can remember is something like "Light my Fire". So it was just coincidence.

[Shea]

I like it! It's a nice 'religiously found' poem and expresses a struggle that many people can relate to. Good job! (and don't worry about the rhyming, I think this style is called 'free verse' ;) )