I believe in you.

[MiltonSatyr]

A raging sun cooks,
from above,
your naked, young back
as you crawl across
this skillet-floor
that blisters your
baby-belly skin.

You
can do
this.

In the stomach of this ocean
your lungs are older now;
they are balloons
that move up through
this blue cocoon of water.
You front crawl faster
as your tight
muscles race toward
the blurry lens of light
that draws you to its warmth.
You break the surface-crust,
and the gasp you take in
sounds like a rusty,
loud door hinge.
Breathe.
From behind you is a rushing,
radio-static growl;
this tidal wave is about
to crash like cars and crush you.

You
can do
this.

I believe in you.

[DarkMage7790]

Sun and water. Youth and old age. Through it all, you need motivation because of the constant attacks of the world. Or at least that is my interpretation. Nice.

[MiltonSatyr]

Sun and water. Youth and old age. Through it all, you need motivation because of the constant attacks of the world. Or at least that is my interpretation. Nice.

You got it. ;) Thank you for taking the time to read it. :)

[Pompey Bum]

Yes, that has more imagery than your earlier poems did, and it's mostly quite effective. Baby-belly skin on a skillet floor. No need to tell me about it (as in prose)--my mind already knows. Nice job.

[MiltonSatyr]

Yes, that has more imagery than your earlier poems did, and it's mostly quite effective. Baby-belly skin on a skillet floor. No need to tell me about it (as in prose)--my mind already knows. Nice job.

Glad you noticed. :P Though I do agree with you about the bab-belly skin line, I'm keeping it, haha. Also, I keep trying to add a comment on your Thistle poem, but I can't for some reason. It's really good. Thanks for the grammatical correction as well. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. :)

[Pompey Bum]

I keep trying to add a comment on your Thistle poem, but I can't for some reason. It's really good.

Thank you, it's very kind of you to say so. Maybe I'll repost some of my old poems if I you are interested (and if I can dig them up). LitNet archaeology is a field unto itself.

[Shadowlight]

I'd like to see some reposts Pompey!

[MiltonSatyr]

I'd like to see some reposts Pompey!

Agreed! :D

[Pompey Bum]

You are both too kind. I will post a few right now under the title Pompey Bum Redux.