Biggus
05-29-2019, 03:52 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 422
Mary Mary quite contrary
Why isn’t that a surprise?
She’s contradicted me again
And made me roll my eyes
I’M A SCARECROW AND IT WAS SAID TO ME
I’m a scarecrow and it was said to me
That I was the best they’d ever seen
I have to say that I was very flattered
At the compliment but hay, it’s in my jeans
SHELLFISH GENERALLY ARE INDUSTRIOUS CREATURES
Shellfish generally are industrious creatures
Which is why on the whole crustaceans prosper
But some of their kind are lazy and sloth like
One won’t lift a claw, and that’s the Slobster!
ROSES ARE BEIGE, VIOLETS ARE BLACK
Roses are beige, violets are black
When do all the colours come back
Oh my I’m such a confused bloke
Am I colourblind or having a stroke
MY SISTER WOULD ONLY WORK ON ONE ANIMAL
My sister would only work on one animal
So all the local farmers mocked her
And upset her, but I soon cheered her up
When I pointed out that she was a Doctor
THE SNOWMAN WORE A SMILE
The Snowman wore a smile
And was quietly humming
Because he knew that soon
The snowblower was coming
A LEXICON HAS A DRUG PROBLEM
A Lexicon has a drug problem
And is facing a disciplinary
For persistently failing screening
And he was declared addictionary
MY UNCLE IS A PART TIME HITMAN
My uncle is a part time hitman
Who in accordance with his wife’s wishes
Also works as a janitor at the aquarium
Where he sweeps with the fishes
I’VE FALLEN OUT WITH OUR LOLLIPOP LADY
I’ve fallen out with our lollipop lady
And our relationship has lost its gloss
Everything would have been okay
If not for the fact she made me cross
COW CROSSING
Why did the Cow cross the road?
Well she risked her health and hide
For a blatantly obvious reason
As she wanted to get to the udder side
NO ONE WOULD SIT NEXT TO THE MUSHROOM
No one would sit next to the mushroom
And he really didn’t understand why
It happened whatever the occasion
And it confused him as he was a fungi
THE DEFINITION OF A PLUMBER
The definition of a Plumber
Is quite easily comprehended
It’s someone who has to repair
The things that I have mended
Mary Mary quite contrary
Why isn’t that a surprise?
She’s contradicted me again
And made me roll my eyes
I’M A SCARECROW AND IT WAS SAID TO ME
I’m a scarecrow and it was said to me
That I was the best they’d ever seen
I have to say that I was very flattered
At the compliment but hay, it’s in my jeans
SHELLFISH GENERALLY ARE INDUSTRIOUS CREATURES
Shellfish generally are industrious creatures
Which is why on the whole crustaceans prosper
But some of their kind are lazy and sloth like
One won’t lift a claw, and that’s the Slobster!
ROSES ARE BEIGE, VIOLETS ARE BLACK
Roses are beige, violets are black
When do all the colours come back
Oh my I’m such a confused bloke
Am I colourblind or having a stroke
MY SISTER WOULD ONLY WORK ON ONE ANIMAL
My sister would only work on one animal
So all the local farmers mocked her
And upset her, but I soon cheered her up
When I pointed out that she was a Doctor
THE SNOWMAN WORE A SMILE
The Snowman wore a smile
And was quietly humming
Because he knew that soon
The snowblower was coming
A LEXICON HAS A DRUG PROBLEM
A Lexicon has a drug problem
And is facing a disciplinary
For persistently failing screening
And he was declared addictionary
MY UNCLE IS A PART TIME HITMAN
My uncle is a part time hitman
Who in accordance with his wife’s wishes
Also works as a janitor at the aquarium
Where he sweeps with the fishes
I’VE FALLEN OUT WITH OUR LOLLIPOP LADY
I’ve fallen out with our lollipop lady
And our relationship has lost its gloss
Everything would have been okay
If not for the fact she made me cross
COW CROSSING
Why did the Cow cross the road?
Well she risked her health and hide
For a blatantly obvious reason
As she wanted to get to the udder side
NO ONE WOULD SIT NEXT TO THE MUSHROOM
No one would sit next to the mushroom
And he really didn’t understand why
It happened whatever the occasion
And it confused him as he was a fungi
THE DEFINITION OF A PLUMBER
The definition of a Plumber
Is quite easily comprehended
It’s someone who has to repair
The things that I have mended