Biggus
01-23-2019, 05:16 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 411
Tuesday’s child
Is full of grace
Except when she’s
Totally off her face
PUT DOWN # 63
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
Let him buy you a drink at the bar
Then speak “Let me just say that if bull****
Was music, you'd be a full orchestra”
LUCY LLAMA WAS HAPPILY SURPRISED
Lucy Llama was happily surprised
With a weekend break by her stag
So she rewarded him with a kiss
And in a fluster said Alpaca bag
POPULAR CULTURE IS VERY INFLUENTIAL
Popular culture is very influential
And I think it’s brilliant, in my view
How the Chinese made a language
Entirely out of pretentious tattoos
POETRY IS REMARKABLE
Poetry is remarkable for
The amount of joy it brings
But please poets, we do get it,
Things are like other things
ON THE WICKET AT LORDS
On the wicket at Lords
Is there any finer sight
Than the sun shining
On a bowler in full flight
SHARING BURDENS
She said “When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
Troubles and lighten your burden”
“But I don’t have any burden”
He pointed out “or worries, pet”
She said “no, but we aren't married yet”
WE DIDN’T REALISE THAT MY DAD
We didn’t realise that my Dad
Was one of the great family men
Until that day we discovered
That he actually had three of them
DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN?
I grew a beard, thinking it would say
"Distinguished Gentleman" to all
Instead, what it’s actually saying
Is Senior Discount seeker at the Mall
I GOT MY FATHER’S LOOKS
I got all my looks from my father
Much to my detriment
I’m thinking in particular of
The look of disappointment
WHEN YOU LOOK AT A HIPPO
When you look at a Hippo
It obviously differs from a Zippo
As one is a really heavy blighter,
And the other is a little lighter
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE DIDN’T GO
When we were kids, we didn’t go
Sledging and tobogganing
Going down the hill on a tin tray
Was more our kind of thing
Tuesday’s child
Is full of grace
Except when she’s
Totally off her face
PUT DOWN # 63
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
Let him buy you a drink at the bar
Then speak “Let me just say that if bull****
Was music, you'd be a full orchestra”
LUCY LLAMA WAS HAPPILY SURPRISED
Lucy Llama was happily surprised
With a weekend break by her stag
So she rewarded him with a kiss
And in a fluster said Alpaca bag
POPULAR CULTURE IS VERY INFLUENTIAL
Popular culture is very influential
And I think it’s brilliant, in my view
How the Chinese made a language
Entirely out of pretentious tattoos
POETRY IS REMARKABLE
Poetry is remarkable for
The amount of joy it brings
But please poets, we do get it,
Things are like other things
ON THE WICKET AT LORDS
On the wicket at Lords
Is there any finer sight
Than the sun shining
On a bowler in full flight
SHARING BURDENS
She said “When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
Troubles and lighten your burden”
“But I don’t have any burden”
He pointed out “or worries, pet”
She said “no, but we aren't married yet”
WE DIDN’T REALISE THAT MY DAD
We didn’t realise that my Dad
Was one of the great family men
Until that day we discovered
That he actually had three of them
DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN?
I grew a beard, thinking it would say
"Distinguished Gentleman" to all
Instead, what it’s actually saying
Is Senior Discount seeker at the Mall
I GOT MY FATHER’S LOOKS
I got all my looks from my father
Much to my detriment
I’m thinking in particular of
The look of disappointment
WHEN YOU LOOK AT A HIPPO
When you look at a Hippo
It obviously differs from a Zippo
As one is a really heavy blighter,
And the other is a little lighter
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE DIDN’T GO
When we were kids, we didn’t go
Sledging and tobogganing
Going down the hill on a tin tray
Was more our kind of thing