Biggus
09-27-2018, 11:19 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 404
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a crumble
Would that make Greggs
Customers grumble?
CAMEL HAIR BRUSHES
Camel hair brushes are not
Made from camel hair to be fair
It’s just one of life’s oddities
They are made of Squirrel fur
MARITAL FORTUNES
“Would you have married me if
My father hadn't left me a fortune?”
A newly married man asked his wife,
While they were on honeymoon
She replied sweetly “I'd have married you,
No matter who left you a fortune!”
GOLF IS LIKE MARRIAGE
Golf is like marriage, firstly
Both are very costly
And they won't work if you take
Yourself too seriously
IT'S TRUE THAT LIFE BEGINS AT FIFTY
It's true that life begins at fifty
Of that I don’t think there’s a doubt
But it's then that everything else starts
To wear out, fall out, or spread out
READ ALL OUR CRITIQUES
Read all our critiques
On Hallucinagenics
It’s what we’re here for
At Trip advisor
HOMEMADE PIZZA
Homemade pizza
Is absolute bliss
And it’s so easy
It’s a pizza piss
I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT RUSSIA
I don’t know much about Russia
And I haven’t been there yet
But I do know one thing for sure
You mustn’t get the Kremlin wet
NOCTURNAL PLIGHT
I learned a valuable life lesson
And I’m not eager to repeat my plight
When I foolishly took a sleeping pill
And a laxative on the same night
BEING OVER THE HILL
I’ve always accepted the inevitability
Of one day being over the hill
What I didn’t expect was to pick up speed
On the other side of that hill
ENERGIZING
If it wasn’t for the stress
Which is a feature of my distress
And the resulting nervous energy
I wouldn’t have any energy
THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY
They made a clean getaway
To a remote destination
For peace and quiet
And dirty intentions
A MUSCIAN WANTED A HOLIDAY BY THE SEA
A musician wanted a holiday by the sea
Under blue skies with an ocean breeze
And as she was a pianist she knew exactly
Where she wanted to go, the Florida Keys
I’M A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER
I’m a very courageous Golfer,
At least in my view
Because it takes a lot of balls
To Golf the way, I do
THERE’S A GREAT VOLUME I’M READING
There’s a great volume I’m reading
About Japanese Sword-Fighting,
It’s quite a detailed manuscript
Would you like me to samuraise it?
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a crumble
Would that make Greggs
Customers grumble?
CAMEL HAIR BRUSHES
Camel hair brushes are not
Made from camel hair to be fair
It’s just one of life’s oddities
They are made of Squirrel fur
MARITAL FORTUNES
“Would you have married me if
My father hadn't left me a fortune?”
A newly married man asked his wife,
While they were on honeymoon
She replied sweetly “I'd have married you,
No matter who left you a fortune!”
GOLF IS LIKE MARRIAGE
Golf is like marriage, firstly
Both are very costly
And they won't work if you take
Yourself too seriously
IT'S TRUE THAT LIFE BEGINS AT FIFTY
It's true that life begins at fifty
Of that I don’t think there’s a doubt
But it's then that everything else starts
To wear out, fall out, or spread out
READ ALL OUR CRITIQUES
Read all our critiques
On Hallucinagenics
It’s what we’re here for
At Trip advisor
HOMEMADE PIZZA
Homemade pizza
Is absolute bliss
And it’s so easy
It’s a pizza piss
I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT RUSSIA
I don’t know much about Russia
And I haven’t been there yet
But I do know one thing for sure
You mustn’t get the Kremlin wet
NOCTURNAL PLIGHT
I learned a valuable life lesson
And I’m not eager to repeat my plight
When I foolishly took a sleeping pill
And a laxative on the same night
BEING OVER THE HILL
I’ve always accepted the inevitability
Of one day being over the hill
What I didn’t expect was to pick up speed
On the other side of that hill
ENERGIZING
If it wasn’t for the stress
Which is a feature of my distress
And the resulting nervous energy
I wouldn’t have any energy
THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY
They made a clean getaway
To a remote destination
For peace and quiet
And dirty intentions
A MUSCIAN WANTED A HOLIDAY BY THE SEA
A musician wanted a holiday by the sea
Under blue skies with an ocean breeze
And as she was a pianist she knew exactly
Where she wanted to go, the Florida Keys
I’M A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER
I’m a very courageous Golfer,
At least in my view
Because it takes a lot of balls
To Golf the way, I do
THERE’S A GREAT VOLUME I’M READING
There’s a great volume I’m reading
About Japanese Sword-Fighting,
It’s quite a detailed manuscript
Would you like me to samuraise it?