Biggus
08-22-2018, 03:47 AM
WITH ALL THE TECHNOLOGY AVAILABLE
With all the technology available
I’m afraid I’ve got very lazy
Today at work I e-mailed the person
Who sits at the desk facing me
THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR
Called the Hundred Years War
I was understandably misled
Because the war really lasted
A hundred and sixteen instead
MARRIAGE DATE NIGHT
When he got home one night,
His wife began to shout
That she wasn’t cooking dinner
And demanded he take her out
But to somewhere expensive
So, he agreed after some hesitation
And she repeated it had to be expensive
So, he took her to a petrol station
GOLF IS A MENTAL GAME
Golf is a mental game
And I don’t mean cerebral
You have to hit down
To make the ball go up.
You swing left and
The ball goes right
The lowest score wins.
And if that’s not mad enough,
The winner buys the drinks.
But if you get a hole in one
You buy the whole bar a drink
BE MY VALENTINES # 2
On Valentine’s Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
“I'm sweet on you!”
While the pencil said to the paper
“I dot my i's on you!”
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?”
COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN JEWISH?
Could Jesus have been Jewish?
It is the most likely eventuality
As He Did go into His Father's business
He lived at home until he was 33
He was sure his Mother was a virgin
And she was sure He was God, so maybe
PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 5
Prevention is better than cure
Well I’m not so sure
Prevention is only helpful until
You are actually ill
THE YEAR OUT
I took a “year out” before going to Uni
And I got a job before you start to sneer
I got a job on the London Underground
And I call it my “Mind the Gap Year”
A HIPSTER BURNT HIS MOUTH
A Hipster burnt his mouth,
The stupid fool,
When he ate the pizza
Before it was cool
TONY THE TIGER IS DEAD
Tony the Tiger is dead
And the news is a bit of a chiller
He has been murdered
And Police suspect a cereal killer
With all the technology available
I’m afraid I’ve got very lazy
Today at work I e-mailed the person
Who sits at the desk facing me
THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR
Called the Hundred Years War
I was understandably misled
Because the war really lasted
A hundred and sixteen instead
MARRIAGE DATE NIGHT
When he got home one night,
His wife began to shout
That she wasn’t cooking dinner
And demanded he take her out
But to somewhere expensive
So, he agreed after some hesitation
And she repeated it had to be expensive
So, he took her to a petrol station
GOLF IS A MENTAL GAME
Golf is a mental game
And I don’t mean cerebral
You have to hit down
To make the ball go up.
You swing left and
The ball goes right
The lowest score wins.
And if that’s not mad enough,
The winner buys the drinks.
But if you get a hole in one
You buy the whole bar a drink
BE MY VALENTINES # 2
On Valentine’s Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
“I'm sweet on you!”
While the pencil said to the paper
“I dot my i's on you!”
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?”
COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN JEWISH?
Could Jesus have been Jewish?
It is the most likely eventuality
As He Did go into His Father's business
He lived at home until he was 33
He was sure his Mother was a virgin
And she was sure He was God, so maybe
PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 5
Prevention is better than cure
Well I’m not so sure
Prevention is only helpful until
You are actually ill
THE YEAR OUT
I took a “year out” before going to Uni
And I got a job before you start to sneer
I got a job on the London Underground
And I call it my “Mind the Gap Year”
A HIPSTER BURNT HIS MOUTH
A Hipster burnt his mouth,
The stupid fool,
When he ate the pizza
Before it was cool
TONY THE TIGER IS DEAD
Tony the Tiger is dead
And the news is a bit of a chiller
He has been murdered
And Police suspect a cereal killer