Biggus
08-16-2018, 04:12 AM
TODAY I PULLED UP ON THE DRIVEWAY
Today I pulled up on the driveway
And within minutes of stopping
I phoned to see if anyone was home
To help me carry in the shopping
PANAMA HATS
Regarding which country makes
Panama hats, I was seriously misled
It turns out they’re not Panamanian
And are made in Ecuador instead
MARITAL EXPECTATION
My wife kept hinting about the gift
She wanted for our anniversary
She said, “I want something shiny
That goes from 0 to 150
In about 3 seconds will do me”
And this was repeated in detail
As the anniversary neared
So, he bought her a bathroom scale
FIRST GRADE CADDY
His five-year-old nephew wanted
To caddy for him on his Golf round
“You have to count my strokes,
So, your counting has to be sound”
The Uncle explained, then asked
“How much is six, plus nine?”
“Five,” answered the nephew.
The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”
BE MY VALENTINES # 1
On Valentine’s Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN BLACK?
Could Jesus have been Black?
Maybe, its true he liked Gospel
He called everyone brother
And He didn't get a fair trial
PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 4
Practise what you preach
Isn’t that what they teach?
But preach what you’ve practised
Is the advice of a Semanticist
WE WILL GO TO SWITZERLAND
We will go to Switzerland
With our Dog from Alsace
When the time comes, and
Go to the clinic, Dognitas
GUTTERBALL
It is inevitable I suppose
Even though they deserve better
That old bowling balls
Will end up in the gutter
GALLIC SANDALS
A Frenchman, wearing sandals,
Was in a bit of a gallic strop
After teasing about his footwear
His name was Phillipe Phillop
Today I pulled up on the driveway
And within minutes of stopping
I phoned to see if anyone was home
To help me carry in the shopping
PANAMA HATS
Regarding which country makes
Panama hats, I was seriously misled
It turns out they’re not Panamanian
And are made in Ecuador instead
MARITAL EXPECTATION
My wife kept hinting about the gift
She wanted for our anniversary
She said, “I want something shiny
That goes from 0 to 150
In about 3 seconds will do me”
And this was repeated in detail
As the anniversary neared
So, he bought her a bathroom scale
FIRST GRADE CADDY
His five-year-old nephew wanted
To caddy for him on his Golf round
“You have to count my strokes,
So, your counting has to be sound”
The Uncle explained, then asked
“How much is six, plus nine?”
“Five,” answered the nephew.
The Uncle said, “Ok that’s fine”
BE MY VALENTINES # 1
On Valentine’s Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN BLACK?
Could Jesus have been Black?
Maybe, its true he liked Gospel
He called everyone brother
And He didn't get a fair trial
PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 4
Practise what you preach
Isn’t that what they teach?
But preach what you’ve practised
Is the advice of a Semanticist
WE WILL GO TO SWITZERLAND
We will go to Switzerland
With our Dog from Alsace
When the time comes, and
Go to the clinic, Dognitas
GUTTERBALL
It is inevitable I suppose
Even though they deserve better
That old bowling balls
Will end up in the gutter
GALLIC SANDALS
A Frenchman, wearing sandals,
Was in a bit of a gallic strop
After teasing about his footwear
His name was Phillipe Phillop