confession

[cacian]

the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special
it confesses without it
there is no lesson

and the worst is when it does
not listen
to admit in succession is
repercussion
it is only meant to last
a session

[Pompey Bum]

Cacian, I think that may be the best poem you have ever posted. Well done!

[cacian]

Cacian, I think that may be the best poem you have ever posted. Well done!

Pompey thank you very much for this lovely feedback :)

[Dreamwoven]

Sorry, but I did not get it...

[Danik 2016]

double

[Danik 2016]

My take:
"the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special

and the worst ....
it is only meant to last
a session"


I quite agree!

[Pompey Bum]

DW: What makes this poem outstanding is the way Cacian has arranged soft, whispering sounds (sh-sh-sh and s-s-s) against hard dental ones (t-t-t) to convey her attitude towards her subject. We get "confession", "impression", "something special", "confesses" and "lesson" in the first stanza, in which she advocates the content. This use of sound is insistent in its repetition but subtle in the softness of its alliteration and assonance. It is as if someone is urgently whispering into your ear.

Near the end of the first stanza, we begin to get hard dentals (sorry, but that's what they're called) in a negative context ("without it"). There remain softly whispering sounds in the second stanza ("listen", "succession", "repercussion", "lesson")--the poem retains its confidential tone. But the hard dentals in "worst", "it", "not", "admit", and "meant to last" add a dismissive or even contemptuous quality--like the disgusted "T"-sound people sometimes make or even (to be more playful) a "Tisk, tisk, tisk" sort of dismissal.

That is the poem Cacian has made. As for the didactic quality you seem to be seeking, you are free to join Danik in agreeing with her, or to disagree as others may, or simply to enjoy puzzling over her ideas. Universal agreement is far from the purpose of poetry.

I commend Cacian again for this excellent poem.

[cacian]

My take:
"the best part of
life is when
it gives the impression
it is something special

and the worst ....
it is only meant to last
a session"


I quite agree!

Danik I am liking this new version ;)

[cacian]

DW: What makes this poem outstanding is the way Cacian has arranged soft, whispering sounds (sh-sh-sh and s-s-s) against hard dental ones (t-t-t) to convey her attitude towards her subject. We get "confession", "impression", "something special", "confesses" and "lesson" in the first stanza, in which she advocates the content. This use of sound is insistent in its repetition but subtle in the softness of its alliteration and assonance. It is someone is urgently whispering into your ear.

Near the end of the first stanza, we begin to get hard dentals (sorry, but that's what they're called) in a negative context ("without it"). There remain softly whispering sounds in the second stanza ("listen", "succession", "repercussion", "lesson")--the poem retains its confidential tone. But the hard dentals in "worst", "it", "not", "admit", and "meant to last" add a dismissive or even contemptuous quality--like the disgusted "T-" sound people sometimes make or even (to be more playful) a "Tisk, tisk, tisk" sort of dismissal.

That is the poem Cacian has made. As for the didactic quality you seem to be seeking, you are free to join Danik in agreeing with her, to disagree as others may, or to enjoy puzzling over her ideas. Universal agreement is far from the purpose of poetry.

I commend Cacian again for this excellent poem.

wow Pompey you knowledge of poetry is amasing . I did not know you knew all this .
I really enjoyable reading all of it. Great stuff ;)

[cacian]

Sorry, but I did not get it...

Hi Dreamwoven I think Danik version is one understanding of it
and
Pompey's explanation is also very clear.
I hope this helped and thank you for reading :)

[Pompey Bum]

wow Pompey you are knowledge of poetry is amasing .

As is your talent, my friend. :)

[Danik 2016]

Danik I am liking this new version ;)

Thanks, cacian!