coming out

[cacian]

It is something I have always questioned and would like some views on it
sexuality is private and so should it be divulged in this way?
that someone has to own up because their sexuality is different from what is to be perceived to be the norms is restrictive.

does this expression mean anything to you in other words is it justified in the world we live in today ?

[Danik 2016]

Again a good discussion theme. All I know about it is that sexuality is becoming less and less private these days. As is everything else for that matter.

[Pompey Bum]

It is something I have always questioned and would like some views on it
sexuality is private and so should it be divulged in this way?
that someone has to own up because their sexuality is different from what is to be perceived to be the norms is restrictive.

does this expression mean anything to you in other words is it justified in the world we live in today ?

Some people will tell you that it is a duty to come out because (they say) not doing so contributes to homosexual oppression. Some feel so strongly about it that they intentionally out others. I would advise gays and Lesbians to follow their own minds and to be discreet until and unless they chose to come out themselves (otherwise someone may do it for them).

That doesn't mean I object to people coming out. Gay friends have told me coming out was a healthy and life changing decision. I've always felt complimented when people have come out to me. I also admire their courage.

But I still see the choice of whether to come out and whom to come out to as a fundamentally personal one. In no way do I judge those who choose to say that it's no one else's business or those who only tell trusted friends.

Hope that helped, Cacian. And while we're talking like this...you've probably suspected, but...I...voted for Trump. There, I've said it. I need a hug. :)

[MANICHAEAN]

I think circumstances, family & location play a big part in whether one "comes out." The expression in itself is quite evocative. I could almost be tempted to suggest alternatives!!!

In Jamaica where I lived for a number of years, there was a distinct official prejudice against gays, the thinking of which seemed to revolve around the logic that with a disproportionate number of women vis a vis men on the island, it was "wrong" for a man to fancy another man, when so many beautiful girl picney were not being catered for.

In Africa it seemed to be a more outright condemnation on Biblical grounds, which I'm sure you are all familiar with.

I also remember the story related by the actor Michael Caine when he told his father that he was becoming an actor. The paternal connotations were such that he asked of his son "Your not one of those nancy boys, are you?"

[desiresjab]

Don't come out. Keep it in the closet!

[desiresjab]

Don't come out. Keep it in the closet.

[desiresjab]

TMI. Don't come out. Keep it in the closet.

[cacian]

TMI. Don't come out. Keep it in the closet.

what does TMI stand for?

[cacian]

......

[tailor STATELY]

TMI: Too Much Information

As I see it (not an expert by any means) coming out is a complicated issue and should be a personal choice... unfortunately some feel the need to do so before they are "outed", whether by good intentioned people or maliciousness. The consequences of coming out will vary widely as MANICHAEAN noted societally, and even within families. For some it will be empowering, for others overpowering.

Some web resources:

Coming out (University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Counseling Center): https://www.washington.edu/counseling/resources/resources-for-students/thinking-of-coming-out/

Outing (BuzzFeed article): https://www.buzzfeed.com/shannonkeating/kevin-spacey-and-the-future-of-outing?utm_term=.bj72668w1Z#.mpvbOOQkWA

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[cacian]

Some people will tell you that it is a duty to come out because (they say) not doing so contributes to homosexual oppression. Some feel so strongly about it that they intentionally out others. I would advise gays and Lesbians to follow their own minds and to be discreet until and unless they chose to come out themselves (otherwise someone may do it for them).

That doesn't mean I object to people coming out. Gay friends have told me coming out was a healthy and life changing decision. I've always felt complimented when people have come out to me. I also admire their courage.

But I still see the choice of whether to come out and whom to come out to as a fundamentally personal one. In no way do I judge those who choose to say that it's no one else's business or those who only tell trusted friends.

Hope that helped, Cacian. And while we're talking like this...you've probably suspected, but...I...voted for Trump. There, I've said it. I need a hug. :)

hi here Pompey I have just reread your post.
you voted for trump !!!! :leaving:
how is that?
only joking :smilewinkgrin:
why did you?

[Pompey Bum]

hi here Pompey I have just reread your post.
you voted for trump !!!! :leaving:
how is that?
only joking :smilewinkgrin:
why did you?

Oh, and I trusted you with my deepest secret, Cacian! Now I'm emotionally scarred. :bawling: [:)]

[MANICHAEAN]

Pompey. Don't cry into your pillow.

Just drink your bourbon, ride the Harley and stock up on maple syrup while you have the chance.

Best wishes with any future reservations.

M.

[cacian]

Oh, and I trusted you with my deepest secret, Cacian! Now I'm emotionally scarred. :bawling: [:)]

LOL there is nothing to worry about.
Trump is just another bloke and everything will be fine LOL :lol:
At least you have been honest and that is cool:thumbsup:

[Pompey Bum]

Pompey. Don't cry into your pillow.

Just drink your bourbon, ride the Harley and stock up on maple syrup while you have the chance.


Yeah, yeah. Hey, Tommy Robinson's got a message for you, M. Oh, no wait, my mistake, looks like he doesn't. ;-)

[Pompey Bum]

Thanks, Cacian. As always, you're the coolest. :)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dgKc-2rFcRw

[desiresjab]

When it comes to coming out I have to guess. I have an intuitive grasp--I am not sure if it is correct--that the risk averages greater than the reward. The risk of regret is always substantial in confession, which is essentially what coming out is. Even when there is a reward, it may not be substantial. Often, on the other side of coming out, awaits a penalty for the confessing queer, rather than a reward. You cannot take it back or deny it once you are out by your own admission, no matter how much you regret making the mistake.

Milieu is everything, kind of like location in business. In San Francisco or Paris, come on out. There is safety in numbers. In Jackson Hole or Juneau, baby, leave your confession shawl in the trunk.

[cacian]

When it comes to coming out I have to guess. I have an intuitive grasp--I am not sure if it is correct--that the risk averages greater than the reward. The risk of regret is always substantial in confession, which is essentially what coming out is. Even when there is a reward, it may not be substantial. Often, on the other side of coming out, awaits a penalty for the confessing queer, rather than a reward. You cannot take it back or deny it once you are out by your own admission, no matter how much you regret making the mistake.

Milieu is everything, kind of like location in business. In San Francisco or Paris, come on out. There is safety in numbers. In Jackson Hole or Juneau, baby, leave your confession shawl in the trunk.

new places never heard of and also I guess coming out is not a duty but a choice and it is better left at that.
straight do not come out so should not anyone else.