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tonywalt
05-20-2018, 08:50 PM
A man with not much to lose,
searching purpose, island hopping in his sailboat to

somewhere,

ran into a storm and safely docked at a small Caribbean island
about 2 miles in length populated by about
a thousand islanders - mostly fishermen. It had clean streets,
tidy New England style clapboard houses, cozy pubs and a
blue-green lagoon with fishing boats sleepily nodding in the
water. He docked the sailboat and wandered into the
pub close by, ordered beer and grilled fish and watched the
rain falling through the porthole window
The grilled fish was fresh and light and the beer cold
The fishermen in the pub seemed unhurried, with quiet eyes
They bantered with the bartender in a cool pleasant way that
seemed familiar to the man - it echoed a
simpler time and place. The waitress was ethereal and attractive
with a clean laugh - and talking with her stirred feelings of
nostalgia within him.

He finished the meal and drank another beer while
listening to the rain pattering on the tin roof - cocooned by
blue seas and thought:
I should stay here and not go back home. A man could reinvent himself
in a place like this. I will make some inquiries

But the storm passed and the fishermen got
back on their boats.
And as if by nature: The man returned to his sailboat,
undid the lines and sailed away slowly, listening to
gentle waves washing against the boat.
As the island became smaller behind him

he did not look back.

kiz_paws
05-21-2018, 10:03 AM
Tony, I liked the changes you made to this delightful poem.
Captivating writing. :)

tonywalt
05-21-2018, 10:55 AM
Tony, I liked the changes you made to this delightful poem.
Captivating writing. :)

Thanks. Good eye re: changes (

fudgetusk
05-22-2018, 10:37 AM
Really paints a picture. Good work.

tonywalt
05-26-2018, 11:48 AM
Really paints a picture. Good work.

Thanks. I made some revisions (less is more) that works better

Shadowlight
05-31-2018, 10:13 PM
I felt it reads almost as a short story more than a poem, would require much tightening up. Captivating all the same. I very much enjoyed.

tonywalt
06-01-2018, 02:22 AM
I felt it reads almost as a short story more than a poem, would require much tightening up. Captivating all the same. I very much enjoyed.

It is the first part of a novel, yes - just tightened to prose maybe.