Biggus
04-12-2018, 03:50 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 377
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a lama
And that’s because she’s
A short sighted farmer
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 2
My son jokes about my age
He is always making light
He says when I was a boy
Rainbows were black and white
THE SEX WAS SO GOOD LAST NIGHT
The sex was so good last night
With my girlfriend Bimbette
That after it was over even
The neighbours had a cigarette.
PUT DOWN # 59
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “you are the sun and the moon”
Simply don’t be taken in by it
And just say “I may love to shop
But I'm not buying your bull****”
BIMBETTE SAYS SHE CAN COUNT TO SEVENTY
Bimbette says she can count to seventy
But I think that’s very doubtful
Because in my experience she always
Finds sixty nine a bit of a mouthful
ALL ABOUT RACIST SEAFOOD
I saw something shocking
On one of those nature programs
All about racist seafood
They were the Ku Klux Clams
THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE
The grass is not greener on the other side
Of the fence, that’s what they tell me
But, what if they’re wrong about that
And you never actually take a look and see
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE SOMEBODY
I always wanted to be somebody,
Which proved to be impolitic
Because I realize that maybe
I should have been more specific.
DYSLEXIC, AGNOSTIC, INSOMNIAC
Dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac
His traits were a catalogue
And he stayed up all night
Deciding if there really is a dog
DR. PEPPER IS A DR.
Dr. Pepper is a Dr.
But that’s the twist
But what kind,
I guess he’s a fizzicist
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a lama
And that’s because she’s
A short sighted farmer
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 2
My son jokes about my age
He is always making light
He says when I was a boy
Rainbows were black and white
THE SEX WAS SO GOOD LAST NIGHT
The sex was so good last night
With my girlfriend Bimbette
That after it was over even
The neighbours had a cigarette.
PUT DOWN # 59
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “you are the sun and the moon”
Simply don’t be taken in by it
And just say “I may love to shop
But I'm not buying your bull****”
BIMBETTE SAYS SHE CAN COUNT TO SEVENTY
Bimbette says she can count to seventy
But I think that’s very doubtful
Because in my experience she always
Finds sixty nine a bit of a mouthful
ALL ABOUT RACIST SEAFOOD
I saw something shocking
On one of those nature programs
All about racist seafood
They were the Ku Klux Clams
THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE
The grass is not greener on the other side
Of the fence, that’s what they tell me
But, what if they’re wrong about that
And you never actually take a look and see
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE SOMEBODY
I always wanted to be somebody,
Which proved to be impolitic
Because I realize that maybe
I should have been more specific.
DYSLEXIC, AGNOSTIC, INSOMNIAC
Dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac
His traits were a catalogue
And he stayed up all night
Deciding if there really is a dog
DR. PEPPER IS A DR.
Dr. Pepper is a Dr.
But that’s the twist
But what kind,
I guess he’s a fizzicist