Ghoul

[emerson1999]

Ghoul

Slowly,
silently it lurks, hunting
from
the ethereal plane.

"Oh my ghoul!"
"My tormentor!"
"Why have you come
Here?"

To ravage my mind?
To break
my
thoughts?

My demon leers
and
replies.

an endless cacophany of
silence and
noise fills
my
soul, confusion and order,
chaos and
clarity.

My ghoul comes for no reason, but
to
set
me
aflame.

(This is a work in progress so any feedback is appreciated. I was a little more daring with the spacing and line breaks than I usually am, so I'm curious whether it works or not)

[kiz_paws]

emerson1999, I really liked the poem as is. I felt it, and might say that we all have a ghoul of some sort in our lives. You hit home with me there. :)
As for constructive criticism? I will leave that to another LitNetter(s), who would be more qualified to critique the piece.

[LukeHel64]

thanks for sharing, i always like reading personal pieces.