Biggus
01-03-2018, 04:43 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 398
There was a little girl who had a little curl
A pretty girl with a smile to dazzle
But that wasn’t how she wanted to be
So she had a wax and vagazzle
ARE YOU WEARING KNICKERS?
Are you wearing Knickers?
Sorry I can’t hide my snickers
But beggars can’t be pickers
And I expect better from Vicars
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 10
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour did not peg it
After they stole the theatre takings
They were recognised and had to leg it
THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT
I know little about St Andrew
Other than a shared name
With a famous Golf course
So he must have liked a game
THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3
I saw Arnie eating a chocolate egg
So I said “I know what your favourite
Christian festival is” and he said
“You have to love Easter, baby”
ALTHOUGH IT HAS BECOME A FAMILY TRADITION
Although it has become a family tradition
Not everyone over eats on Thanksgiving
And of course I’m referring to the Turkeys
Because they were stuffed in the beginning
AT WHAT POINT DO MISTAKES
At what point do
Mistaken repetitions
Made over time
Become traditions
HE WAS HARD AS NAILS
He was hard as nails,
And the man terrified me
His reputation is the fact,
Supported by Testimony,
That he once jogged home
After having a vasectomy
I WENT FOR HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING
I went for Health and Safety training
On the safe and proper use of a ladder
And when the instructor began with
“Step one” I couldn’t have been gladder
CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF RICE WINE
“Can I have a glass of Rice Wine”
I said “Beer makes me bilious”
The puzzled barman replied “Sake?”
I added “No I was being serious”
There was a little girl who had a little curl
A pretty girl with a smile to dazzle
But that wasn’t how she wanted to be
So she had a wax and vagazzle
ARE YOU WEARING KNICKERS?
Are you wearing Knickers?
Sorry I can’t hide my snickers
But beggars can’t be pickers
And I expect better from Vicars
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 10
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour did not peg it
After they stole the theatre takings
They were recognised and had to leg it
THE ROYAL AND ANCIENT AND A SAINT
I know little about St Andrew
Other than a shared name
With a famous Golf course
So he must have liked a game
THE BEST EASTER ACTOR OF ALL TIME # 3
I saw Arnie eating a chocolate egg
So I said “I know what your favourite
Christian festival is” and he said
“You have to love Easter, baby”
ALTHOUGH IT HAS BECOME A FAMILY TRADITION
Although it has become a family tradition
Not everyone over eats on Thanksgiving
And of course I’m referring to the Turkeys
Because they were stuffed in the beginning
AT WHAT POINT DO MISTAKES
At what point do
Mistaken repetitions
Made over time
Become traditions
HE WAS HARD AS NAILS
He was hard as nails,
And the man terrified me
His reputation is the fact,
Supported by Testimony,
That he once jogged home
After having a vasectomy
I WENT FOR HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING
I went for Health and Safety training
On the safe and proper use of a ladder
And when the instructor began with
“Step one” I couldn’t have been gladder
CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF RICE WINE
“Can I have a glass of Rice Wine”
I said “Beer makes me bilious”
The puzzled barman replied “Sake?”
I added “No I was being serious”