Biggus
12-31-2017, 05:23 AM
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS ARE SOMETHING
New Year's resolutions are something
That go over the head of my brother
He just doesn’t seem to grasp their import
So they go in one year and out the other
MY ONLY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
My only New Year's resolution
Is to be more optimistic next year
By keeping my cup half-full
With either vodka, whiskey or beer
NEW YEAR’S EVE IS ONE OF THE FEW
New Year’s Eve is one of the few
Acceptable times to wear body glitter
When you have a reasonable expectation
Of not being mistaken for a stripper
IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR
It’s such a mild New Year
All the birds are singing noisily
Noisy little bastards
Should be frozen to a tree
I HATE JANUARY
I hate January
January I do not enjoy
It has no pleasure
It has no joy
Christmas is over
All the money has gone
5 weeks till payday
January is wrong
I love December
December has it all
December is the time
To have a ball
In fact December
Has to much fun
And not enough time
To get it all done
The Festivities
Leave us in a daze
There is too much
For 31 days
So the solution
Is a simple one
I can’t believe
It hasn’t been done
Get rid of January
No one likes it
Have two Decembers
Then everything will fit
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR
My New Year's resolution this year
Is hopefully an antidote to future resolutions
And to rid myself of the annual angst
I have come up with a simple solution
Which is to stop hanging out with people
Who ask me for my New Year's resolutions
IF YOU WERE BORN IN LATE SEPTEMBER,
If you were born in late September,
The bells should definitely start to clang
As its pretty safe to assume that your folks
Started out the New Year with a Bang
RATHER THAN MAKE A POINTLESS RESOLUTION
Rather than make a pointless resolution
I will make a wish for those I hold dear
May you always have all that you need
And want all you have, Happy New Year!
NEW YEAR’S EVE FANCY DRESS
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For New Year’s Eve
I said “Drunk will do me”
NEW YEARS IS JUST AN EXCUSE
New Years is just an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
And that’s why New Years
Is the best holiday for me
ARE YOU WEARING A NEW YEARS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a New Year’s outfit?
Well you really do look good in it
And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit
It’s a really cracking little outfit
Though all the emphasis is on the fit
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
When the clock strikes
The midnight hour
One year ends
And another begins
With an explosion
Of pyrotechnic splendour
Lavishly ostentatious
Many thousands of pounds
Up in smoke
Is it really worth it?
Would it not be better spent?
On the homeless
And the lost
And so begin a new year
With new hope
NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
On New Year’s Eve
Before the bells begin to clang
Ask her if she wants to
Ring in the New Year with a bang?
THE YEAR IS TURNING
The year is turning, the cycle
Has made another revolution
It’s time once more to make
The obligatory resolution
Which is broken within days
But this year I have a solution
In order to make it last
I will not make a resolution
THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;
This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
Followed by being mostly drunk with
A very slight chance of unconsciousness
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST
New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other
New Year's resolutions are something
That go over the head of my brother
He just doesn’t seem to grasp their import
So they go in one year and out the other
MY ONLY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
My only New Year's resolution
Is to be more optimistic next year
By keeping my cup half-full
With either vodka, whiskey or beer
NEW YEAR’S EVE IS ONE OF THE FEW
New Year’s Eve is one of the few
Acceptable times to wear body glitter
When you have a reasonable expectation
Of not being mistaken for a stripper
IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR
It’s such a mild New Year
All the birds are singing noisily
Noisy little bastards
Should be frozen to a tree
I HATE JANUARY
I hate January
January I do not enjoy
It has no pleasure
It has no joy
Christmas is over
All the money has gone
5 weeks till payday
January is wrong
I love December
December has it all
December is the time
To have a ball
In fact December
Has to much fun
And not enough time
To get it all done
The Festivities
Leave us in a daze
There is too much
For 31 days
So the solution
Is a simple one
I can’t believe
It hasn’t been done
Get rid of January
No one likes it
Have two Decembers
Then everything will fit
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR
My New Year's resolution this year
Is hopefully an antidote to future resolutions
And to rid myself of the annual angst
I have come up with a simple solution
Which is to stop hanging out with people
Who ask me for my New Year's resolutions
IF YOU WERE BORN IN LATE SEPTEMBER,
If you were born in late September,
The bells should definitely start to clang
As its pretty safe to assume that your folks
Started out the New Year with a Bang
RATHER THAN MAKE A POINTLESS RESOLUTION
Rather than make a pointless resolution
I will make a wish for those I hold dear
May you always have all that you need
And want all you have, Happy New Year!
NEW YEAR’S EVE FANCY DRESS
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For New Year’s Eve
I said “Drunk will do me”
NEW YEARS IS JUST AN EXCUSE
New Years is just an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
And that’s why New Years
Is the best holiday for me
ARE YOU WEARING A NEW YEARS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a New Year’s outfit?
Well you really do look good in it
And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit
It’s a really cracking little outfit
Though all the emphasis is on the fit
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
When the clock strikes
The midnight hour
One year ends
And another begins
With an explosion
Of pyrotechnic splendour
Lavishly ostentatious
Many thousands of pounds
Up in smoke
Is it really worth it?
Would it not be better spent?
On the homeless
And the lost
And so begin a new year
With new hope
NEW YEARS PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
On New Year’s Eve
Before the bells begin to clang
Ask her if she wants to
Ring in the New Year with a bang?
THE YEAR IS TURNING
The year is turning, the cycle
Has made another revolution
It’s time once more to make
The obligatory resolution
Which is broken within days
But this year I have a solution
In order to make it last
I will not make a resolution
THIS YEAR’S NEW YEAR’S EVE FORECAST;
This year’s New Year’s Eve forecast;
A row with the girlfriend, acute loneliness
Followed by being mostly drunk with
A very slight chance of unconsciousness
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE JUST
New Year’s resolutions are just
Lies that we tell one another
And are something that go in
One year and out the other