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Jerrybaldy
12-14-2017, 06:47 PM
'There must be something '
The boy sat on a cold wooden pew.
Whilst Latin was decantered
For the thirsty of the few.

I imagined there was hope
As a comrade to fear,
Yet hope became more hopeless
Year on year on year.

I walked on through all landscapes
Making notes along the way
And it got forever darker,
Whilst night seeped through
The bandage of the day.

I've reached the end of land,
too soon,
An endless empty sea,
And now I wait for nothing
And nothing waits for me.

tonywalt
12-15-2017, 12:12 AM
Poignant, moving, great imagery!

kiz_paws
12-15-2017, 10:52 AM
Yes, the imagery is beautifully done, particularly loved the lines
Whilst night seeped through
The bandage of the day.
Great poem, Jerry.

Scheherazade
12-16-2017, 02:19 PM
I agree that the imagery is strong, I think the language does need a little more work, Jerry. Some lines feel forced and lacking your usual melody.