Biggus
12-05-2017, 05:13 AM
ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1
Are you wearing red?
And standing at the foot of my bed
I hope that means you’re Santa
And not Jeremy Corbyn instead
THERE IS A SINGING ELF
There is a singing Elf
Up at the North Pole
With a powerful voice
For one so small and dapper
The singing Elf croons
All day in the workshop
So the other Elf’s call him
The Christmas Wrapper
SANTA IS SUCH A JOLLY CHAP
Have you ever wondered
Why Santa is such a jolly chap?
Well it’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are at
WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Well it’s impossible for him see
As he only comes once a year
And he’s normally up a chimney
DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET
Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
There are only twenty five letters in it
Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel
CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND
Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
And compassionate to those around me
Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be
I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS
I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
Tied with bows and ribbon curls
I only want one thing for Christmas
And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls
FAIRY TRADITION
One Christmas, a long time ago
Santa Claus was trying to prepare
For the biggest night of the year
But events left him in despair
A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
And decimated the Elves
And a shortage of helpers
Meant there were empty shelves
The reindeer were rebellious
And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
His parcel sack had a hole in it
And Mrs Claus was menopausal
As a result of all his trials
He was not in the best frame of mind
So when a Fairy approached him
With good intent and being kind
Who was carrying an evergreen
And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put
This lovely Christmas Tree?”
Because of his really bad mood
He answered her unseasonably
And thus began the tradition
Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree
BOXING DAY SPORT
Boxing Day is very popular
For Sport of all kinds in the UK
But in our corner of the land
Trial Pursuit is order of the day
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
But she was on the commode
THERE IS AN OLD SAYING
There is an old saying
Which we now tend to disregard
Which goes “a green Christmas
Makes for a fat churchyard”
Are you wearing red?
And standing at the foot of my bed
I hope that means you’re Santa
And not Jeremy Corbyn instead
THERE IS A SINGING ELF
There is a singing Elf
Up at the North Pole
With a powerful voice
For one so small and dapper
The singing Elf croons
All day in the workshop
So the other Elf’s call him
The Christmas Wrapper
SANTA IS SUCH A JOLLY CHAP
Have you ever wondered
Why Santa is such a jolly chap?
Well it’s because he knows
Where all the naughty girls are at
WHY DOESN'T SANTA HAVE ANY KIDS?
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Well it’s impossible for him see
As he only comes once a year
And he’s normally up a chimney
DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET
Do you know why the Christmas alphabet
Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell
There are only twenty five letters in it
Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel
CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND
Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind
And compassionate to those around me
Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because
I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be
I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS
I don’t want a lot of fancy presents
Tied with bows and ribbon curls
I only want one thing for Christmas
And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls
FAIRY TRADITION
One Christmas, a long time ago
Santa Claus was trying to prepare
For the biggest night of the year
But events left him in despair
A flu epidemic hit the North Pole
And decimated the Elves
And a shortage of helpers
Meant there were empty shelves
The reindeer were rebellious
And Rudolph’s nose was Normal
His parcel sack had a hole in it
And Mrs Claus was menopausal
As a result of all his trials
He was not in the best frame of mind
So when a Fairy approached him
With good intent and being kind
Who was carrying an evergreen
And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put
This lovely Christmas Tree?”
Because of his really bad mood
He answered her unseasonably
And thus began the tradition
Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree
BOXING DAY SPORT
Boxing Day is very popular
For Sport of all kinds in the UK
But in our corner of the land
Trial Pursuit is order of the day
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 18
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
But she was on the commode
THERE IS AN OLD SAYING
There is an old saying
Which we now tend to disregard
Which goes “a green Christmas
Makes for a fat churchyard”