Biggus
11-03-2017, 12:24 PM
PETER PAN GOT HIS NAME
Peter Pan got his name
Not by design or plan
It was after he got hit
In the peter with a pan
MY GRANDMA TOLD ME HER JOINTS TROUBLE HER
My grandma told me her joints trouble her
And elaborated, saying they are getting weaker
I said I had a way to make her life brighter
If she was just to roll her spliffs a bit tighter
I TOOK MY DOG TO A BONFIRE PARTY
I took my dog to a bonfire party
And he stared at the fire blankly
I twigged as I watched the fiery licks
It was because he loved sticks
In fact sticks were one of his joys
So the fire was like a pile of his toys
APRIL SHOWERS BRING
April showers bring
May flowers it seems
But then May flowers
Only bring Pilgrims
ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE
St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
That’s why St Patrick’s Day
Is the best holiday for me
I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 1
I have given up sex for Lent
Which should not disconcert
As I haven’t done it for six years
So another month won’t hurt
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 386
Harlequin ladybird, fly away home
Your kind are not welcome here
So get your Harlequin spotted arse
Back to where you belong in Asia
ARE YOU WEARING CLAM DIGGERS?
Are you wearing clam diggers?
How very beachcomber of you
However inappropriate, given
The fact seafood makes you spew
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 5
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour, are not dead
But are doing an Elizabethan tribute act
At the Edinburgh Fringe instead
A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (6)
At a get together with Family
My widowed father told me
That he had found a new lady
“We’re off to Portuguese India”
“Oh really” I said, “Goa?”
“No” he said “she’s a bit demure”
Peter Pan got his name
Not by design or plan
It was after he got hit
In the peter with a pan
MY GRANDMA TOLD ME HER JOINTS TROUBLE HER
My grandma told me her joints trouble her
And elaborated, saying they are getting weaker
I said I had a way to make her life brighter
If she was just to roll her spliffs a bit tighter
I TOOK MY DOG TO A BONFIRE PARTY
I took my dog to a bonfire party
And he stared at the fire blankly
I twigged as I watched the fiery licks
It was because he loved sticks
In fact sticks were one of his joys
So the fire was like a pile of his toys
APRIL SHOWERS BRING
April showers bring
May flowers it seems
But then May flowers
Only bring Pilgrims
ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE
St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
That’s why St Patrick’s Day
Is the best holiday for me
I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 1
I have given up sex for Lent
Which should not disconcert
As I haven’t done it for six years
So another month won’t hurt
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 386
Harlequin ladybird, fly away home
Your kind are not welcome here
So get your Harlequin spotted arse
Back to where you belong in Asia
ARE YOU WEARING CLAM DIGGERS?
Are you wearing clam diggers?
How very beachcomber of you
However inappropriate, given
The fact seafood makes you spew
ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 5
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour, are not dead
But are doing an Elizabethan tribute act
At the Edinburgh Fringe instead
A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (6)
At a get together with Family
My widowed father told me
That he had found a new lady
“We’re off to Portuguese India”
“Oh really” I said, “Goa?”
“No” he said “she’s a bit demure”