Biggus
09-02-2017, 11:51 AM
WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 7
If you value your life avoid places
That might make your nerves jangle
A certain geographical location
For example the Bermuda Triangle
I USED TO BE INDECISIVE
I used to be indecisive
At least I thought so
But I am now quite sure
That I don’t actually know
I MET MY PROSPECTIVE FATHER IN LAW AT THE WEEKEND
I met my prospective father in law at the weekend
And he seemed quite normal when I saw him
So I was quite pleased until my girlfriend said
“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them”
I NEED YOU TO DELETE ME FROM YOUR ADDRESS BOOK
“I need you to delete me from your address book”
My ex-girlfriend emailed me to express
I pondered for some time before I replied
“Who is this? And how did you get this address?”
MY SISTER IS A SOPHISTICATE
My sister is a sophisticate
And has travelled far away
She’s been to a Taj Mahal
That isn’t an Indian takeaway
I LOVE FRIDAY, IT’S A SPECIAL DAY
I love Friday, it’s a special day
But nothing ruins that Friday feeling
Quite as much as the realisation
That it’s still actually Thursday
MONEY TALKS IS THE SAYING
“Money talks” is the saying
I’m not quite sure why
If my money could talk
It would only ever say good-bye
THE OLD SAYING GOES
The old saying goes
“If you can't beat them, join them”
But a rethink is called for,
“If you can't beat them”,
Rather than joining them
You should “beat them”,
Because they will be expecting
You to “join them”,
As a result you will take them
Completely by surprise
WOMEN MIGHT BE ABLE TO FAKE ORGASMS
Women might be able to fake orgasms
It’s due to how Mother Nature equip
Although men aren’t born with that ability
But they can fake a whole relationship
MY SISTER SAYS THEY ARE BOTHERED BY A RACCOON
My sister says they are bothered by a Raccoon
Who boldly take things off their veranda
It’s very brazen, and is one of nature’s scroungers
Although she calls it their garbage Panda
If you value your life avoid places
That might make your nerves jangle
A certain geographical location
For example the Bermuda Triangle
I USED TO BE INDECISIVE
I used to be indecisive
At least I thought so
But I am now quite sure
That I don’t actually know
I MET MY PROSPECTIVE FATHER IN LAW AT THE WEEKEND
I met my prospective father in law at the weekend
And he seemed quite normal when I saw him
So I was quite pleased until my girlfriend said
“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them”
I NEED YOU TO DELETE ME FROM YOUR ADDRESS BOOK
“I need you to delete me from your address book”
My ex-girlfriend emailed me to express
I pondered for some time before I replied
“Who is this? And how did you get this address?”
MY SISTER IS A SOPHISTICATE
My sister is a sophisticate
And has travelled far away
She’s been to a Taj Mahal
That isn’t an Indian takeaway
I LOVE FRIDAY, IT’S A SPECIAL DAY
I love Friday, it’s a special day
But nothing ruins that Friday feeling
Quite as much as the realisation
That it’s still actually Thursday
MONEY TALKS IS THE SAYING
“Money talks” is the saying
I’m not quite sure why
If my money could talk
It would only ever say good-bye
THE OLD SAYING GOES
The old saying goes
“If you can't beat them, join them”
But a rethink is called for,
“If you can't beat them”,
Rather than joining them
You should “beat them”,
Because they will be expecting
You to “join them”,
As a result you will take them
Completely by surprise
WOMEN MIGHT BE ABLE TO FAKE ORGASMS
Women might be able to fake orgasms
It’s due to how Mother Nature equip
Although men aren’t born with that ability
But they can fake a whole relationship
MY SISTER SAYS THEY ARE BOTHERED BY A RACCOON
My sister says they are bothered by a Raccoon
Who boldly take things off their veranda
It’s very brazen, and is one of nature’s scroungers
Although she calls it their garbage Panda