Biggus
05-26-2017, 04:56 AM
HEARD ON THE NEWS THAT A HIJACKED SHIP
I heard on the news that a hijacked ship
Had been taken by smiley pirates
I thought that sounded quite nice but
It turned out they were Somali pirates
THE RSPCA WERE CALLED
The RSPCA were called to an emergency
But unfortunately they didn’t arrive in time
The animal was dead in the Xerox machine
It was reported to police as a copycat crime
THE USE OF DRUGS IS RIFE IN SPORT
The use of drugs is rife in sport
And it’s a worldwide thing
But people think it’s just China
And that because of Do Ping
WHEN GINGERBREAD MEN SLEEP
When a gingerbread man lays
On his bed Perchance to sleep
He does so every single night
Laying down on a cookie sheet
I SEE DECEIT IN YOUR FACE
“I see deceit in your face” said a wife
Following her husband’s deception
He didn’t help his case when he inferred
It was “a personal reflection”
THE STRUCTURE THAT TOPS THE LIST
The structure that tops the list,
By a distance or a smidge
For creating the most tension
Is clearly a suspension bridge
FROM WHAT CAN YOU TAKE AWAY
From what can you take away
The whole and still have some?
Is an interesting riddle isn’t it
And the answer is wholesome
A FLIRT DRESSES TO KILL
A flirt dresses to kill
In her desire to impress
A butcher on the other hand
Kills to dress
MY UNCLE IS A JOVIAL MAN
My uncle is a jovial man and at home
He is always full of good cheer
But at work he always looks forbidding
But then he is an auctioneer
LIKENED TO A TREE
A dog can be likened to a tree,
I once heard it said
Because they both lose their bark
Once they are dead
I heard on the news that a hijacked ship
Had been taken by smiley pirates
I thought that sounded quite nice but
It turned out they were Somali pirates
THE RSPCA WERE CALLED
The RSPCA were called to an emergency
But unfortunately they didn’t arrive in time
The animal was dead in the Xerox machine
It was reported to police as a copycat crime
THE USE OF DRUGS IS RIFE IN SPORT
The use of drugs is rife in sport
And it’s a worldwide thing
But people think it’s just China
And that because of Do Ping
WHEN GINGERBREAD MEN SLEEP
When a gingerbread man lays
On his bed Perchance to sleep
He does so every single night
Laying down on a cookie sheet
I SEE DECEIT IN YOUR FACE
“I see deceit in your face” said a wife
Following her husband’s deception
He didn’t help his case when he inferred
It was “a personal reflection”
THE STRUCTURE THAT TOPS THE LIST
The structure that tops the list,
By a distance or a smidge
For creating the most tension
Is clearly a suspension bridge
FROM WHAT CAN YOU TAKE AWAY
From what can you take away
The whole and still have some?
Is an interesting riddle isn’t it
And the answer is wholesome
A FLIRT DRESSES TO KILL
A flirt dresses to kill
In her desire to impress
A butcher on the other hand
Kills to dress
MY UNCLE IS A JOVIAL MAN
My uncle is a jovial man and at home
He is always full of good cheer
But at work he always looks forbidding
But then he is an auctioneer
LIKENED TO A TREE
A dog can be likened to a tree,
I once heard it said
Because they both lose their bark
Once they are dead