Biggus
05-15-2017, 03:58 AM
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 17
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And all the staff did was make me worse
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“No I said remove his spectacles nurse”
HOW WAS THE OP DOCTOR?
He woke up and said
“How was the op Doctor?”
“I’m not your Doctor,
I’m afraid, I’m St Peter”
WHEN TWO APPLE DEVICES
When two Apple devices
Interface when meeting
They don’t do a handshake
But do an iFive in greeting
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION
Failure is not an option
The salesman told me
But he didn’t say it came
As standard did he
MY GRANDDADS NOT VERY TECH SAVVY
My granddads not very tech savvy
So when he got a laptop I was amazed
But when I asked what windows version
He had, he replied “double glazed”
NONRELIGIOUS KIDS ARE ILL-INFORMED
Nonreligious kids are ill-informed
When asked the difference between
The New and Old Testament
Only one child bothered to speak up
And he thought the Kindle version
Must be the New Testament
I TOOK THE GRANDCHILDREN TO THE THEATRE
I took the grandchildren to the theatre
To watch the new pantomime Aladdin
I knew it wasn’t going to be very good
As they refunded my money on the way in
MY FATHER IN LAW FLATLY REFUSED
My father in law flatly refused to
Watch Henry the IV part two
He said “I’m not like other people
I can’t watch another sequel”
A MAN APPEARING AS HAMLET
A man appearing as Hamlet
Was booed while performing it
“Don’t blame me” he snapped
“I didn’t write this bloody ****”
THE YOUNG PERFORMER WAS EGGED ON
The young performer was egged on
To the stage by his pushy parents
But he was soon egged off it again
By an unappreciative audience
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And all the staff did was make me worse
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“No I said remove his spectacles nurse”
HOW WAS THE OP DOCTOR?
He woke up and said
“How was the op Doctor?”
“I’m not your Doctor,
I’m afraid, I’m St Peter”
WHEN TWO APPLE DEVICES
When two Apple devices
Interface when meeting
They don’t do a handshake
But do an iFive in greeting
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION
Failure is not an option
The salesman told me
But he didn’t say it came
As standard did he
MY GRANDDADS NOT VERY TECH SAVVY
My granddads not very tech savvy
So when he got a laptop I was amazed
But when I asked what windows version
He had, he replied “double glazed”
NONRELIGIOUS KIDS ARE ILL-INFORMED
Nonreligious kids are ill-informed
When asked the difference between
The New and Old Testament
Only one child bothered to speak up
And he thought the Kindle version
Must be the New Testament
I TOOK THE GRANDCHILDREN TO THE THEATRE
I took the grandchildren to the theatre
To watch the new pantomime Aladdin
I knew it wasn’t going to be very good
As they refunded my money on the way in
MY FATHER IN LAW FLATLY REFUSED
My father in law flatly refused to
Watch Henry the IV part two
He said “I’m not like other people
I can’t watch another sequel”
A MAN APPEARING AS HAMLET
A man appearing as Hamlet
Was booed while performing it
“Don’t blame me” he snapped
“I didn’t write this bloody ****”
THE YOUNG PERFORMER WAS EGGED ON
The young performer was egged on
To the stage by his pushy parents
But he was soon egged off it again
By an unappreciative audience