Biggus
05-05-2017, 03:25 AM
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 15
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with a sense of well being
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“It’s a shame Page 47 of the manual was missing!”
HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE
He was fed up with his device
So in frustration without flinching
He dropped his iPad in the river
And it immediately started synching
MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE
My grandson is always on his phone
Its scrambled his brain I think
“What you need is a life” I said
He replied “Ok send me the link”
THE LAMB AND PUP
I walked into my local
“The Lamb and Pup”
The landlord said “Bitter?”
I replied “No just fed up”
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 2
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
When told he was dressed as a butcher
He added “I’m a mince Spy”
I THOUGHT HE WAS SHOT IN THE FOREST
I thought he was shot in the forest
But I was wrong, and the reason
Was a simple misunderstanding
He was shot in the Lumbar region
SISTER AGATHA AT THE CONVENT
Sister Agatha at the convent
Was somnambulistic
The sleep walking nun
Was called a Roaming Catholic
WHEN MOSES WENT TO MOUNT OLIVE
When Moses went to mount Olive
He bit off more than he could chew
As Moses thought it was just him
But he found Popeye was there too
YOU SHOULD NEVER ENTERTAIN LEWD THOUGHTS
You should never entertain
Lewd thoughts, whatever you do
You should close your eyes
And let them entertain you
MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT
My sister works in the IT department
And got sacked for having dyslexia
Her boss told her to “unzip his files?”
She misunderstood and he sacked her
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with a sense of well being
As I was going under I heard the surgeon say
“It’s a shame Page 47 of the manual was missing!”
HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE
He was fed up with his device
So in frustration without flinching
He dropped his iPad in the river
And it immediately started synching
MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE
My grandson is always on his phone
Its scrambled his brain I think
“What you need is a life” I said
He replied “Ok send me the link”
THE LAMB AND PUP
I walked into my local
“The Lamb and Pup”
The landlord said “Bitter?”
I replied “No just fed up”
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 2
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
When told he was dressed as a butcher
He added “I’m a mince Spy”
I THOUGHT HE WAS SHOT IN THE FOREST
I thought he was shot in the forest
But I was wrong, and the reason
Was a simple misunderstanding
He was shot in the Lumbar region
SISTER AGATHA AT THE CONVENT
Sister Agatha at the convent
Was somnambulistic
The sleep walking nun
Was called a Roaming Catholic
WHEN MOSES WENT TO MOUNT OLIVE
When Moses went to mount Olive
He bit off more than he could chew
As Moses thought it was just him
But he found Popeye was there too
YOU SHOULD NEVER ENTERTAIN LEWD THOUGHTS
You should never entertain
Lewd thoughts, whatever you do
You should close your eyes
And let them entertain you
MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT
My sister works in the IT department
And got sacked for having dyslexia
Her boss told her to “unzip his files?”
She misunderstood and he sacked her