Biggus
04-12-2017, 08:46 AM
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 12
Hansel and Gretel’s little trips
Were very stimulating for Hansel
Because once deep in the woods
He got a hand job from Gretel
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE MEAL
The man said to his date
“I hope you enjoyed the meal
But alas I don’t have any money”
She was unfazed and replied
“If you’d told me sooner we
Could have gone somewhere classy”
COLIN TOOK A PORK PIE
For his homework
Colin took a pork pie
Around to his Aunty Grace
Because he thought
That he had to take pie
To one dismal place
THERE WAS A TRAGIC CASE
There was a tragic case
When a Chickpea farmer died
And after the inquest
The coroner ruled it Hummuside
THEY’RE REMAKING OLD TV SHOWS
They’re remaking old TV shows
Updating oldies from TV heaven
A Sci-Fi version of “On the Buses”
Is going to be called Blakey’s Seven
THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG LAY
The chicken and the egg
Lay in the afterglow
He lit a cigarette and said
“Well now we know”
IT WAS ANOTHER SUV BIRTHDAY
It was another SUV birthday
Thanks to my significant other
No not that kind of SUV, I got
Socks, Underwear and Viagra
IF I KNEW THE FUTURE
If I knew the future and in particular
When I was going to die and where
The knowledge would be of little use
Other than to warn me not to go there
NOT DOING UP YOUR FLY AFTER SPENDING A PENNY
Not doing up your fly after spending a penny
Makes you forgetful and nothing more,
It doesn’t mean you have Alzheimer’s
Its only senility if you forgot to unzip before
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 11
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with confidence
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see where I left the instruments?”
Hansel and Gretel’s little trips
Were very stimulating for Hansel
Because once deep in the woods
He got a hand job from Gretel
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE MEAL
The man said to his date
“I hope you enjoyed the meal
But alas I don’t have any money”
She was unfazed and replied
“If you’d told me sooner we
Could have gone somewhere classy”
COLIN TOOK A PORK PIE
For his homework
Colin took a pork pie
Around to his Aunty Grace
Because he thought
That he had to take pie
To one dismal place
THERE WAS A TRAGIC CASE
There was a tragic case
When a Chickpea farmer died
And after the inquest
The coroner ruled it Hummuside
THEY’RE REMAKING OLD TV SHOWS
They’re remaking old TV shows
Updating oldies from TV heaven
A Sci-Fi version of “On the Buses”
Is going to be called Blakey’s Seven
THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG LAY
The chicken and the egg
Lay in the afterglow
He lit a cigarette and said
“Well now we know”
IT WAS ANOTHER SUV BIRTHDAY
It was another SUV birthday
Thanks to my significant other
No not that kind of SUV, I got
Socks, Underwear and Viagra
IF I KNEW THE FUTURE
If I knew the future and in particular
When I was going to die and where
The knowledge would be of little use
Other than to warn me not to go there
NOT DOING UP YOUR FLY AFTER SPENDING A PENNY
Not doing up your fly after spending a penny
Makes you forgetful and nothing more,
It doesn’t mean you have Alzheimer’s
Its only senility if you forgot to unzip before
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 11
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with confidence
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see where I left the instruments?”