Whispers and Bird Songs

[EarthSci34]

Whispers and Bird Songs


We were hidden
Amongst the whispers and bird songs.
Near a lake that reflected no stars
You stared with eyes that reflected no soul.

You asked me if it was hot.
You said it was ”like 27 degrees.”
Do you remember?
Or did you forget?
Maybe the rain washed the memories away.

While you were talking,
My thoughts circled the trees above.
The cockatoos rambled on and
The school children prattled on.
On and on and on.
It was nothing.
Compared to your voice.

Do you think they heard us?
Do you think they saw us?
As I threw sticks into the lake,
And you bared your thoughts,
“Are these fake?”
Your feelings,
“You shouldn’t be telling me…”
Your fears,
“I’m not a good person.”
Your soul.
“I’m sorry.”
But all I could do was listen.

Hidden amongst the whispers and bird songs
I listened to you for 2 hours and a half.
Eventually the birds flew off,
And the whispers faded away.
So did I.

Read more of my poems and works at https://whitecrayonsite.wordpress.com/readmyblogposts/

Thank you :)

[YesNo]

I have never considered looking at the stars reflected in a body of water at night although I have seen the moon and sun reflect. Is it possible for another human being to not reflect a soul? And wouldn't that be your soul that is "reflected" in the other person's eyes?

You seem to make what might be called "local sense". That is, if you read a few sentences they are understandable. However, from a "global sense" perspective, I don't know what you are trying to say. Perhaps you are deliberately not trying to say anything.

Anyway, I started following your blog.

Since you have a blog you might also want to look at sites like dVerse Poets Pub. From there you can find other sites, too many to keep up with, that feature poetry prompts and encourage poets to link their poems published in their blogs to their sites. Then people mutually comment on the poems. Their comments will be positive, but if you read between the lines they are valuable.

[EarthSci34]

I have never considered looking at the stars reflected in a body of water at night although I have seen the moon and sun reflect. Is it possible for another human being to not reflect a soul? And wouldn't that be your soul that is "reflected" in the other person's eyes?

You seem to make what might be called "local sense". That is, if you read a few sentences they are understandable. However, from a "global sense" perspective, I don't know what you are trying to say. Perhaps you are deliberately not trying to say anything.

Anyway, I started following your blog.

Since you have a blog you might also want to look at sites like dVerse Poets Pub. From there you can find other sites, too many to keep up with, that feature poetry prompts and encourage poets to link their poems published in their blogs to their sites. Then people mutually comment on the poems. Their comments will be positive, but if you read between the lines they are valuable.

Hello YesNo,

First of all, thank you for follow on my blog. It actually means very much to me, as well as the invaluable feedback you gave. :-)

The with the lake that reflects no stars was somewhat insoped from Plath's last poem Words, "from the bottom of the pool, fixed stars govern a life." In the absence of stars on the lake's surface, I was intending to allude that the poetic persona's mystification on the lack of soul in their "friend."

The basis of the poem is an underlying sense of estrangement from a friend after 2 and a half hours of talking. Although, I do understand that maybe the highly personal basis of this poem obscures its meaning to a wider audience. Posting them on this platform really helps me get into contact with people like you that help me refine and renew my writing.

Thank you for the site recommendations, I will explore these later tonight :) I'm very keen and thank you so much!

[YesNo]

I just came from a local poetry reading today. I could not understand 80% or so of the poems that were read.

I listened to one and a half hours of this and I was silent throughout. It kind of reminds me of the end of your poem.