A sonnet that I haven't titled yet

[marvel]

I wrote this after a conversation with someone I care about. Come next year we will both be leaving and I don't know what I want.

Of course I want to believe we can last
But time makes certain that everything ends
Soon we will part, our fire dead and past
There is only one option life intends

Given the chance, each other we'll ruin
We'll fall apart, grow resentful. That's sure.
To hope otherwise would be undoing
Of earned history, remembrance obscured

And maybe our finish is not our doom
Rather the savior of sweet memory
Our expiration date above us looms
Instant grief, but fondness in reverie

Just choose the lesser of these sorry fates
Lose now/risk worse later. Sorrow awaits.

[YesNo]

Is "savior" supposed to be "savor" or maybe I'm misreading it.

This just popped into my head and so I will write it without editing. It is meant to be like a zen koan, like that one hand clapping stuff. It goes against the notion of our rationality, an ability to optimize our next individual move as in a game of chess: Let her decide what you want.

[marvel]

It is savoir, it's like the end is what saves the good memories. And I'm her, he wants to try, but I think that might end up worse.

[YesNo]

If I got the gender wrong, I probably misunderstood the sonnet in other ways as well.

[marvel]

I was afraid maybe it wasn't clear. I'm bias because I know what it's about. Is there anything I should do to make it more understandable?

[YesNo]

When reading this I imagined you and your friend were lovers but you were going to different schools far away after you graduated. There you would likely find other people to fall in love with. None of that is really stated in the poem. If I am close enough then there is no need to change it.

More specifically, I don't understand the line "There is only one option life intends". What option is that? Also the line appears to be there because you need to rhyme with "ends" in line two. I like rhyme and I think you should rhyme this piece, but the meaning is more important than the rhyme. I would come up with a clearer line 4 that rhymes even if it means changing the rhyme sound in line 2 as well.

Line 5 "Given the chance, each other we'll ruin" might be better as "We'll ruin each other given the chance". It is easier to use "chance" as a rhyme word and the word order is more natural.

In line 6, it is not sure that you will fall apart. The "sure" suggests that you want an excuse to end the relationship.

The "doom", "looms" in the third stanza puzzles me, but I liked the expiration date part.

The meter for a sonnet is normally iambic pentameter. I hear many anapest feet in the poem, that is, places where there are two unaccented syllables together followed by an accented one. That's not a big deal, I'm just pointing it out.

Other people will completely disagree with what I mentioned above, and I am no expert at this.

[marvel]

That's great, thank you. Also you're spot on with the interpretation. The option life intends is just endings, but I was afraid that line confused the fact that the poem is about the 2 options I mention at the end. I will work on that line. And I like chance better, that is easier to rhyme with as well. I'll look into that. You're critique is really helpful, I totally agree.