Biggus
01-25-2017, 07:41 AM
THE HAGGIS
Haggis is made from sheep's offal
Oatmeal, suet, seasoning and onions
Stuffed inside of a sheep stomach
Which has to be one of Heston’s creations
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 10
Tinderfella went to the dance
Looking for a little romance
But in the end he didnt find her
Because they were all on grindr
ARE YOU WEARING CHIFFON?
Are you wearing chiffon?
So you’ve chosen style over substance
But you won’t hear me complain
As transparency tends to enhance
FAT TUESDAY
Pancake Day is known as Fat Tuesday
And is the last day before the Lenten season
It was a feast day and it was the practise of
Them stuffing their faces that is the reason
DESICCATED SNACK POT
A new desiccated snack pot
Of dried dog and noodles
Are on sale in North Korea
They’re called Not Poodles
NEW BOND VILLAIN
There is a new Bond villain
Although the story is old
His name is Gold sphincter
And he has piles of gold
PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT
I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog
And Schrodinger’s Cat
And I wanted it quite a lot
So I asked a librarian
And she said it rang a bell,
But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not
A HOLIDAY DECEPTION # 1
I pretend to be someone I’m not
Just to receive something sweet
Which could be for Halloween
Or for a Valentine’s Day treat
ARE YOU WEARING A BLACK BODY STOCKING?
Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my tone is not mocking
And though the view may be thought shocking
It will certainly bring admirers flocking
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 9
I went into hospital for minor surgery
Afterwards in recovery I heard “oh **** it!,
“Someone call the janitorial services
We're going to need a mop and bucket!”
Haggis is made from sheep's offal
Oatmeal, suet, seasoning and onions
Stuffed inside of a sheep stomach
Which has to be one of Heston’s creations
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 10
Tinderfella went to the dance
Looking for a little romance
But in the end he didnt find her
Because they were all on grindr
ARE YOU WEARING CHIFFON?
Are you wearing chiffon?
So you’ve chosen style over substance
But you won’t hear me complain
As transparency tends to enhance
FAT TUESDAY
Pancake Day is known as Fat Tuesday
And is the last day before the Lenten season
It was a feast day and it was the practise of
Them stuffing their faces that is the reason
DESICCATED SNACK POT
A new desiccated snack pot
Of dried dog and noodles
Are on sale in North Korea
They’re called Not Poodles
NEW BOND VILLAIN
There is a new Bond villain
Although the story is old
His name is Gold sphincter
And he has piles of gold
PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT
I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog
And Schrodinger’s Cat
And I wanted it quite a lot
So I asked a librarian
And she said it rang a bell,
But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not
A HOLIDAY DECEPTION # 1
I pretend to be someone I’m not
Just to receive something sweet
Which could be for Halloween
Or for a Valentine’s Day treat
ARE YOU WEARING A BLACK BODY STOCKING?
Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my tone is not mocking
And though the view may be thought shocking
It will certainly bring admirers flocking
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 9
I went into hospital for minor surgery
Afterwards in recovery I heard “oh **** it!,
“Someone call the janitorial services
We're going to need a mop and bucket!”