Biggus
01-20-2017, 05:57 AM
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 9
New mattresses were ordered
For the bed of Princess Kayleigh
As they were changing the beds
For The Princess And The Pee
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 8
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anesthetist was a bit of a bore
He said “Oops! Does anyone know if a patient
Has ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE # 1
The secret to a happy married life
Is that you should simply remember
That to keep on the good side of your wife
Silence is sometimes the best answer
ARE YOU WEARING BUBBLE WRAP?
Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Well that is a novel form of dress
But if I were to start popping the bubbles
Would that cause you any distress?
I DON’T WALK WITH THE CROWD
I don’t walk with the crowd and
I’m not the usual Microwave user
I like to stop it at one second
Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.
I DON’T MIND YOU NOT BEING GLAMMED UP
I don’t mind you not being glammed up
But a gent’s tweed suit is not your normal attire
Is there any reason for your change of style?
Is the masculine look some form of satire?
WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So he can only work at night
THE GRIM REAPER CAME FOR ME LAST NIGHT
The Grim Reaper came for me last night
And I could barely catch my breath
But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
And was really Dyson with death.
AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE
Granddad always said, an umbrella was like
A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?
I only found out many years later that it was
Because they were seldom seen after lent
WHEN HIS FOOD ARRIVED
When his food arrived
He saw something distressing
“There’s a button in my salad”
The waiter said, messing
“That's all right, sir,
It's just part of the dressing”
New mattresses were ordered
For the bed of Princess Kayleigh
As they were changing the beds
For The Princess And The Pee
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 8
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anesthetist was a bit of a bore
He said “Oops! Does anyone know if a patient
Has ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE # 1
The secret to a happy married life
Is that you should simply remember
That to keep on the good side of your wife
Silence is sometimes the best answer
ARE YOU WEARING BUBBLE WRAP?
Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Well that is a novel form of dress
But if I were to start popping the bubbles
Would that cause you any distress?
I DON’T WALK WITH THE CROWD
I don’t walk with the crowd and
I’m not the usual Microwave user
I like to stop it at one second
Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.
I DON’T MIND YOU NOT BEING GLAMMED UP
I don’t mind you not being glammed up
But a gent’s tweed suit is not your normal attire
Is there any reason for your change of style?
Is the masculine look some form of satire?
WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So he can only work at night
THE GRIM REAPER CAME FOR ME LAST NIGHT
The Grim Reaper came for me last night
And I could barely catch my breath
But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
And was really Dyson with death.
AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE
Granddad always said, an umbrella was like
A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?
I only found out many years later that it was
Because they were seldom seen after lent
WHEN HIS FOOD ARRIVED
When his food arrived
He saw something distressing
“There’s a button in my salad”
The waiter said, messing
“That's all right, sir,
It's just part of the dressing”