A question. Making the erotic, less erotic, but just as powerful

[Robert Alan]

Just a question I have here. I wrote a short story, that involved some erotic scenes. I have one problem though: they seem too erotic. Does anyone have any tips on writing adult themed pieces without being so explicit? Anything helps, thank you all!

[YesNo]

One thing you could do is restrict the passage to 50% of the words you have currently used to describe the scene. See if this improves the erotic effect. If so, reduce it another 10% and keep iterating in that manner until you feel you need to be more explicit.

Alternatively, you could add word count through dialog or descriptions that is only peripherally related to the erotic scene. This should increase word count and increase the tension since the reader knows what is going on but you aren't showing it.

I think this would work for any critical part of a story when being explicit seems to ruin the intended effect on the reader.

[Ecurb]

Anthony Lane, the film critic for the New Yorker, also writes literary criticism. Two of his funnier articles comprise reviews of the top ten best-selling books -- one from the New York Times 1995 list, the other from the same list in 1945.

The number 1 seller in 1945 was "A Lion is in the Streets",by Adria Lock Langley. Here's Lane describing a passage:


Whenever sex reared its ugly head, it had to keep its hat on. The strict erogenous-zoning laws of the time meant that physical response had to occur at least two limbs away from the intended center of operations, as in this sentence..."His finger moved faster, faster, back and forth in a small flipping motion on her ear lobe."

Later, in another book from the 1945 best-sellers, Irving Stone's "Immortal Wife", Lane quotes another passage:


(The hero and heroine) just about find time for the old standby, aural sex: Jessie "took his finger and touched it lightly to the tiny circle of white lobe which she left exposed."

Perhaps you could emulate these best-selling authors from the past.

Lane's book, "Nobody's Perfect", which I happen to have checked out from the library right now, is well worth reading. In addition to some scores of film reviews, it includes articles on Nabokov, Pynchon, Bloom on Shakespeare, A.E. Houseman, and T.S. Eliot (about whom Lane wrote his thesis at Oxbridge, I forget which one).

[Robert Alan]

Very insightful and highly appreciated. Thank you guys very much, lots of love!

[MANICHAEAN]

I just go for it with whatever turns me on, but keep the wording less explicit than " pure rutting."

[davidpaul]

The erotic is a measure between our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.