Biggus
12-05-2016, 08:20 AM
A LITTLE BOY WROTE TO SANTA CLAUSE
A little boy wrote to Santa Clause
“Please send me a brother”
Santa Clause wrote him back,
“Ok, send me your mother”
FOR WOMEN THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON
For women the holiday shopping season
Starts on all hallows Eve
For men the holiday shopping season
Starts on Christmas Eve
THAT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS # 1
That's political correctness that is
In one of its insidious ways
That’s stops us saying merry Christmas
And makes us say happy holidays
WHEN YOU OPEN THE WINDOWS
When you open the windows
Throughout the festive season
On Microsoft’s advent calendar
They suddenly close for no reason
I GOT AN INAPPROPRIATE PRESENT
I got an inappropriate present
From my grandparents you know
Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift
But not if you live in a bungalow
WITH TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
With two days till Christmas
Sales will definitely pick up a bit
As men start Christmas shopping
And start to buy ‘any old ****’
JESUS WAS EXACTLY 7LB WHEN HE WAS BORN
Jesus was exactly 7lb when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because They had a weigh in the manger.
SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET
Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls
THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF NATIVITY
The Great British Bake-Off nativity
Is to be a real festive feast
And baker Paul Hollywood says its
Because the Star is in the Yeast
A little boy wrote to Santa Clause
“Please send me a brother”
Santa Clause wrote him back,
“Ok, send me your mother”
FOR WOMEN THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON
For women the holiday shopping season
Starts on all hallows Eve
For men the holiday shopping season
Starts on Christmas Eve
THAT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS # 1
That's political correctness that is
In one of its insidious ways
That’s stops us saying merry Christmas
And makes us say happy holidays
WHEN YOU OPEN THE WINDOWS
When you open the windows
Throughout the festive season
On Microsoft’s advent calendar
They suddenly close for no reason
I GOT AN INAPPROPRIATE PRESENT
I got an inappropriate present
From my grandparents you know
Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift
But not if you live in a bungalow
WITH TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
With two days till Christmas
Sales will definitely pick up a bit
As men start Christmas shopping
And start to buy ‘any old ****’
JESUS WAS EXACTLY 7LB WHEN HE WAS BORN
Jesus was exactly 7lb when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because They had a weigh in the manger.
SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET
Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls
THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF NATIVITY
The Great British Bake-Off nativity
Is to be a real festive feast
And baker Paul Hollywood says its
Because the Star is in the Yeast