Biggus
11-25-2016, 07:18 AM
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 6
She was drinking in the forest
But she didn't want Tango to sup,
That wasn’t for Snow White,
She much preferred her 7up
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 5
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the surgeons were a couple of arses
One of them said to the other “I bet now
You wish you hadn't forgotten your glasses.”
MY COUSIN IS AN ORTHODONTIST
My cousin is an orthodontist
In the American deep south
I don’t think he’s happy, as he
Always looks down in the mouth
THE MOST MIRACULOUS ANIMAL
The most miraculous animal
In the farm-yard, I am assured
Is the humble pig and that’s because
It is killed and then cured
WHEN IS A LOVER LIKE A TAILOR
When is a lover like a tailor?
Surely that point is moot
The answer simply has to be
When he presses his suit
A WOMAN, HAVING BURIED HER
A woman, having buried her
Philandering husband Dwight,
Said she had one consolation,
She knew where he was at night
AVOID MARRYING A GIRL CALLED ANN
Avoid marrying a girl called Ann
With every fibre and particle
Because if you marry her
She will be an indefinite article
A WOMAN’S FAVOURITE WORD
A woman’s favourite word
When all said and done
Doesn’t have to be special
It just has to be the last one
WHEN ACTOR FOGHORN LEGHORN
When actor Foghorn Leghorn
Retired to a farm near Leyton
Named his favourite he “Macduff”
Because he wanted her to lay on
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAMERA
The difference between a camera
And a bad case of influenza
Is that one makes facsimiles
And the other makes sick families
She was drinking in the forest
But she didn't want Tango to sup,
That wasn’t for Snow White,
She much preferred her 7up
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 5
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the surgeons were a couple of arses
One of them said to the other “I bet now
You wish you hadn't forgotten your glasses.”
MY COUSIN IS AN ORTHODONTIST
My cousin is an orthodontist
In the American deep south
I don’t think he’s happy, as he
Always looks down in the mouth
THE MOST MIRACULOUS ANIMAL
The most miraculous animal
In the farm-yard, I am assured
Is the humble pig and that’s because
It is killed and then cured
WHEN IS A LOVER LIKE A TAILOR
When is a lover like a tailor?
Surely that point is moot
The answer simply has to be
When he presses his suit
A WOMAN, HAVING BURIED HER
A woman, having buried her
Philandering husband Dwight,
Said she had one consolation,
She knew where he was at night
AVOID MARRYING A GIRL CALLED ANN
Avoid marrying a girl called Ann
With every fibre and particle
Because if you marry her
She will be an indefinite article
A WOMAN’S FAVOURITE WORD
A woman’s favourite word
When all said and done
Doesn’t have to be special
It just has to be the last one
WHEN ACTOR FOGHORN LEGHORN
When actor Foghorn Leghorn
Retired to a farm near Leyton
Named his favourite he “Macduff”
Because he wanted her to lay on
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAMERA
The difference between a camera
And a bad case of influenza
Is that one makes facsimiles
And the other makes sick families