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View Full Version : A Little Bit Of Humour # 188



Biggus
11-14-2016, 04:47 AM
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 5

The classic tale of Goldilocks
Should never have included Bears
The Girl was gay so it was actually
Goldilocks and the Three Mares

LIP-SALVE

Lip-salve is a very useful product
But it’s not a good chaperon, in anyway
Even though it lives up to its boast
Of always keeping the chaps away

FOR MANY YEARS HE HADN’T DONE MUCH

For many years he hadn’t done much
In the way of work at all
Not that he was physically incapable
He just worked at county hall

IT WILL NORMALLY INVOKE A SENSE OF SHAME

It will normally invoke a sense of shame
When a young lady to loses her good name
However her position is not an untenable one
When a young man gives her a better one

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 3

I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist thought he was funny
When the nurse dropped my notes he said
“Don’t lose them, we may need them at autopsy”

NICOLA STURGEON, THE SCOTTISH FIRST MINISTER

Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister
Says she want’s independence from Westminster
But it’s illogical, she’s just flexing her muscles
As Scotland will become dependent on Brussels

I WAS TOLD SOMETHING INTERESTING

I was told something interesting
By the RSPCA Man
He said Dogs can’t have an MRI
But explained that CatsCan

AUTOMATED CONCEIT

The guy was so conceited that when
He stood in the cubicle with nothing on
And his automatic shower came to life
He thought his nakedness had turned it on

I WENT TO THE UKRAINE

I went to the Ukraine
With my girlfriend Bev
And I ate a Chicken Kiev
With my chick in Kiev

WHEN WE WERE KIDS IN THE AUTUMN

When we were kids in the autumn
My brother would hide from view
Beneath a pile of fresh fallen leaves
But hey that was Russell for you

YesNo
11-14-2016, 11:04 AM
I suppose working at county hall doesn't give one much to put on a resume. Are those Scots still trying to get their independent? I also liked the one about the CatsCan.

Biggus
11-18-2016, 04:42 AM
Thanks YN
Yes the Scots have been talking about it again since the Brexit vote.