..double up..Rewrite Version

[Spiros Zafiris]

at the back of my notebook
I mark down the medications I take
throughout the day
first, I do the noting
and, right after, I swallow
the pill whose turn it is

now, there are times
when I fool myself
into believing I hadn't
taken the pill, though I wrote it down
and, not being fond of dilemmas,
I usually double up

funny, this usually happens
with the most knockout pills,
the ones that further open
my brain's scar-door,
to better allow a guiding spirit's
hand to enter and pull out each word,
of a new poem resting near,
to relay it into my pen's grasp
~
©2016 Spiros Zafiris..channeled, spirit Ram;
reaching into the poet's mind

[Pompey Bum]

Tell the spirit Ram not to quit his day job.

[Spiros Zafiris]

..Pompey Bum.>though I am accustomed to exchanging opinions with polite poets/people,
I always thank everyone for their time, even the ne'er-do-wells..thanks..sp

[Pompey Bum]

Oh, Ram, you know you're welcome.

[Silas Thorne]

I'd love to see more punctuation in this, though that phrase 'further open/ my brain's scar door' is wonderful. Thanks for sharing!

[Pompey Bum]

I liked that expression, too, but the central irony of the knockout pills opening the creative process didn't seem sufficient to carry a poem, and the rest of the language wasn't remotely poetic. Sorry I hurt your feelings, too, but sharing your Copywrite with "spirit Ram" does rather invite satire.

[Spiros Zafiris]

..thanks much Silas.>for your suggestion..the phrase you mentioned liking was also a favorite of another poet in another site
..I may be wrong, but the way I have it, a hyphen belongs there: 'brain's scar-door'..thanks again.>sp

..Pompay Bum.>you haven't spelled Copyright correctly..and the © is under my name if you look carefully..but the main thing is:
it doesn't matter what you write about, what matters is your style; your lyricism..and another thing, out of hundreds of poems I have posted
on the net, only a few poets have questioned my association with my guiding spirits (I have 2)..but not one as rudely
as you have..the only time I do not mention participation of one of my guiding spirits in the creation of a poem (if the
poem was thus created), is when I get published in tanka anthologies, for it would break the reading harmony should an editor
publish several, or more, tanka of mine in a stringlike fashion.>sp

[Pompey Bum]

..Pompay Bum.>you haven't spelled Copyright correctly..

Ah, you got me! Thanks. :)


and the © is under my name if you look carefully..

The Ram spirit says he'll see you in court. ;-) Good luck with punctuation (and the pills).

[Silas Thorne]

..thanks much Silas.>for your suggestion..the phrase you mentioned liking was also a favorite of another poet in another site
..I may be wrong, but the way I have it, a hyphen belongs there: 'brain's scar-door'..thanks again.>sp


Yes, yes, good. An omission on my part.

[Spiros Zafiris]

..thanks again, you two (PB & Silas)..and worry not, I'm very careful
with my doctor-prescribed meds..oh, PB, my feelings were not hurt;
we're communicating...all's well.>sp