does love equal marriage?

[cacian]

according to the statistics there are more divorces then marriages
where are we going wrong when love is so strong?

[Danik 2016]

I liked the rhyme, cacian.
But is love always strong enough to create a lasting bond?
I don´t know.

[Pompey Bum]

according to the statistics there are more divorces then marriages
where are we going wrong when love is so strong?

Feminism? Life-consuming careers? Selfishness? The decline of a secure middle class? The disposability of everything? Lap dances? The idea that a wedding is nothing more than is a big, expensive party for the bride? Who knows?

Of the dozens of close friends I had in college and single life, virtually all got married. Only two couples (including me and my wife) did not subsequently get divorced. (The other couple has a disastrous marriage, but they are still together). On the other hand, my two brothers and I all have happy marriages of more than 25 years. That suggests to me that a strong family background (we have a strong family despite some tragedy) is likely a factor in a lasting marriage, but obviously the sample size is too small for significance.

[Dreamwoven]

I think these days many people don't marry, they just live together, many permanently. This is called a sambo relationship (the word is Swedish) and in Sweden has been formalised into a law called the sambo law (sambo lag) ensuring that when the relationship ends (e.g. on the death of one of the couple) the parents or other relatives of the deceased cannot dispose of the property or other assets of the deceased, it goes automatically to the surviving person. The law is expressed in gender-neutral terms. Both our sons are in such a sambo relationship with a woman, the elder son has been for at least a couple of decades.

Is this just the case in Sweden? Marriage doesn't come into it.

[Helga]

In my case it wasn't a divorce but a break-up, but we had a kid and had been living together for 5 years.

Both my brothers have girlfriends they have been living with for years and one has two kids.

I think it is very common here on the ice to live together and not get married. There was even a few months ago an interview with a girl I know in an american website about this, and on some show I think and an american priest called us a nation of sinners and had some foul things to say about women here.

Most of my friends who are in relationships aren't married, I think it isn't necessary to most.

A lot of people live with in their parents house for a longer time too now, I heard recently that in Sweden that is called Mambo, is that true Dreamwoven?

[Dreamwoven]

indeed it is, Helga. Particularly with the large number of refugees to Sweden which has resulted in an acute housing shortage.

[Dreamwoven]

The irony is that Sweden is enjoying an economic boom, so there is a surplus of vacant jobs, but these are in the main urban centres, Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö, where the housing shortage is most acute. Same old same old...

[OrphanPip]

I think these days many people don't marry, they just live together, many permanently. This is called a sambo relationship (the word is Swedish) and in Sweden has been formalised into a law called the sambo law (sambo lag) ensuring that when the relationship ends (e.g. on the death of one of the couple) the parents or other relatives of the deceased cannot dispose of the property or other assets of the deceased, it goes automatically to the surviving person. The law is expressed in gender-neutral terms. Both our sons are in such a sambo relationship with a woman, the elder son has been for at least a couple of decades.

Is this just the case in Sweden? Marriage doesn't come into it.

Most jurisdictions under British Law allow common law marriages as well, at least Canada does. If you've lived together in a romantic relationship for a year you can be treated under the law as a married couple in all of Canada except Quebec, which operates under an adapted form of French civil law. You can also be considered a conjugal partnership if you apply for it without having to do a marriage ceremony.

[milagros]

Hello:

I also consider that a strong family background allow a lasting marriage. I know few marriages, but I see the older couples consider the marriage as a commitment. I sometimes think that in these marriages, people are united by respect more than love.

[Helga]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srKQvgI4RkQ

[Pompey Bum]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srKQvgI4RkQ

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ljrFQyE1hAg

[Ecurb]

I once asked and Indian friend, Mahendra, if his daughter (who was about 8 or 9) was going to have an arranged marriage with a member of her own caste.

"Certainly she will," he said. "Love marriages, much divorce. Arranged marriages, no divorce."

I have no idea if statistics support this contention (although I'd guess they do). If this is true, however, love does not equal marriage, but divorce does.

[Dreamwoven]

My wife and I have been married for 50 years, we even married a second time (also in a registry office).

[Pompey Bum]

My wife and I have been married for 50 years, we even married a second time (also in a registry office).

Congratulations to both of you, DW. :)

[Dreamwoven]

Thank you Pompey!

[Danik 2016]

My wife and I have been married for 50 years, we even married a second time (also in a registry office).
Congrats DW!
Some people here marry a second time too, it is called "reassertion of the marriage vows". The official ceremony is usually followed by a family party.

[OrphanPip]

I didn't used to think I was much of a big believer in marriage or its significance. However, I did get married because it was a necessity for my spouse and me to have some stability in our lives because of our different citizenship. Marriage makes the process of getting my spouse Canadian citizenship far easier. We got married in Denmark and hopefully one day we can have a proper reception in Canada.

[Dreamwoven]

I also have a permanent relationship with a foreign spouse, a Swede, we married in 1971 for the same reason, to enable her to also get into USA.