Eldertree78
09-20-2016, 09:26 AM
I just woke up at a hotel In San Antonio. I can't even remember my flight or how I made it here. My mother just text me telling me she knows I'm in town and is upset I haven't seen her. I turn on my tv and realize it doesn't work. Fantastic. I pass by a mirror and see how terrible I look. Blood shot eyes and a 2 day beard. The usual. I internally debate about contacting my friend Michelle. Ah, Michelle. Just thinking about her makes me forget what I'm talking about and stare into the distance. Or maybe that's the vodka I've been taking shots of since 4:30 this morning...
I first met Michelle at comet in Leon springs while working with a girl named Nikita from Michigan. We heard we had a new driver and I expected it to be an old man and she showed up and I literally had to stop what I was doing and look twice. I then motioned toward Nikita and told her the new driver was super pretty. She introduced herself and i thought she looked familiar but I couldn't remember from where. She said her last name was Dawson and I told her we used to ride the bus in middle school together. Just me my sister and her and her brothers. That was our whole bus. I fell in love with her immediately. I hid this by acting as causally as possible around her. However I was drinking everyday and she would always find me smoking cigarettes and ask for one. We got to know each other slightly better and I found out she was in the army previously. I was semi rude to her often and one day asked if she wanted to hangout. She said yes surprisingly and we decided to go tubing in new braunfels. I got directions to her House and wished the entire drive over there I had worked out more. She said she would drive us and I got in her car with her and her dog, Blu. We ate at taco cabana and I was still trying to be casual but she made me nervous with how beautiful she was and I couldn't eat. We listened to old country music and she told me she had been engaged right after high school and the guy didn't ask her dads permission and if I ever got married to make sure to ask the girls dad before I asked her. We had a decent time getting to know each other and we both wished we had brought alcohol because everyone else except us was drinking. Blu got his own tube and I tried and failed to stop checking her out. As we got on the bus to take us back to her car she asked what I was doing after and wanted to hangout at her place. I said yes immediately thinking "how could this day get any better?". We got to her house she lived at with other fellow employees and I was greeted by woody and woodys son who looked like Thor. Turns out Michelle and Thor are dating and both were in the army together. We all sat outside and smoked cigarettes and drank beer and I felt incredibly awkward. Thor asked how the river was and all I wanted to do was leave hah. I ended up drinking with woody and Thor and Michelle disappeared to make dinner or some ****. I left sometime after that and continued to see Michelle at work and dodged her constantly because I was embarrassed. Woody invited me over for dinner one random day so I came and brought beer and I met Thors army friends and drank with them and Michelle didn't say hi or anything to me even though we were sitting across from each other. She then text me and said sorry she wasn't talking that Thor gets jealous. We saw this huge shooting star that made the news and I wished lamely that Michelle would change her mind about me. I'm not sure what happened but a few days later woody text me and told me not to come over anymore that I was using her to get close to Michelle and I told her I wasn't. You know, like a liar. The next time I saw Michelle a week or so later she told me her and Thor broke up and she moved out of the house and was living with her aunt. I was at the comet on Babcock and she came in to pick up the last load of clothes after we were closed and asked what I was doing that night. I told her nothing that I was going to just go home so she asked if I wanted to hangout with her and her sister. I said sure and she told me to call her when I was off. I went to the Walmart across the street after and was semi drunk since I was working alone I was drinking at work. Turns out my ****ing car had a light on and wouldn't start. I was getting gum and deodorant and suddenly couldn't change before I went out. **** my life. I called her and told her sorry I couldn't go and she said she would come get me. So I waited and spoke to a homeless man at Walmart about aliens and life and her and her sister showed up and I looked terrible and just got in the car and thanked them. We went to Wild West and her sister and sisters friend were dancing and wanted me to dance also. (my worst fear) and I decided to drink to become brave enough to go do it l, so I got a beer and a shot and Michelle was upset I didn't get her one too so I went back and got more. We ended up drunk and dancing and we went outside for a cigarette and a random guy approached us and started hitting on Michelle and asked for her number and to dance with him and she said no to both surprisingly. Then she put her arms around me and told him I was her boyfriend and the guy looked super confused and was looking at me then her as if to confirm he heard what she just said. Meanwhile I'm having a heart attack inside and thinking to myself what the **** is going on. The guy looks confused, laughs and says "oh, dude I thought you were gay!" I'm now thrown off and wondering if I give off a gay vibe, and this Dude apologizes and buys us shots and disappears. We spent the rest of the night sarcastically calling each other sweetheart and angel face. I don't see her again until a few days later at work and she asks if I want to hangout again. Of course I say yes before she is done asking. Super smooth. I go over to her new house with her aunt and sister. She makes me dinner and me her and her sister and sisters friend go out to a party and she asks if I want to stay at her place. I say ok and she makes me a bed on the downstairs couch. I'm laying there feeling retarded and semi drunk and she comes and lays next to me and I felt confused because I knew she didn't like me so I just lay there awkwardly not making physical contact and when she fell asleep I got up and left. She text me the next morning and was annoyed I left without saying anything. We started hanging out everyday and night and drinking or smoking and got to know each other better than anyone else in our lives. She invited me over for thanksgiving and I came over and met her family and they had soliders come from the Air Force base in San Antonio. they were cool but I felt out of place being introduced as her friend and found out all her family was or is in the military and I was not at all. We separate from everyone and go for a walk and stop at a bridge and smoke a cigarette and she tells me Thors been trying to get back with her but she doesn't want that and we stare at each other for awhile and I'm super unsure of what to say. Ah sometimes I'm such a pussy. the army dudes come and break the awkwardness and ask if they can borrow my phone to call their families. We continue to hangout everyday and night and I now can just walk in to her house and her aunt knows me and says I'm always welcome. I quit comet sometime in December as they have finally caught on to me about what I do at work. Best decision I ever made leaving. Michelle texts me and says now she can tell me all her secrets which confuses me. I get a call that Sunday from her crying. She asks what I'm doing and I explain I just woke up. She asks if I could pick her up from Rockport. AT THE ****ING BEACH 3 hours away. She says she will tell me
Everything when I get there and that she needs me and had no one she could call. She promises it isn't drug related and some other vague ****. I say yes for some reason and get in my car and drive to Rockport the whole time I was wondering what the **** she got herself into. I finally get there and sit on my car in a hotel parking lot smoking a cigarette and she shows up with a backpack and a cooler full of bottles. I'm super annoyed and she starts explaining that she came to Rockport with our co worker Joe. A like 65 year old man. I'm super thrown off and she says he invited her and said his girlfriend Yolanda (a equally old woman) was meeting them there and they could ride together. So she went with him and she found out Yolanda wasn't going and she thought it was weird. Her and joe went to a bar and she danced with some guy and joe got jealous and left her with a note saying he was leaving and good luck getting back to San Antonio. So she called me. What the ****. She starts crying and I'm annoyed about the whole thing and stop talking to her. She asks if I want her to drive and I say no. She offers to make me drinks while I drive and I tell her no again. We eat at a random subway and she tries to give me money and I refuse so she leaves $60 in my car. She falls asleep on the way home and I just angrily stare out of my window and drive listening to blink 182 and the smiths. I get to her aunts house and wake her up. While she was asleep I put the $60 back in her purse and she doesn't notice. She gets her stuff and says thank you and closes the door and walks off. I'm now super annoyed as I didn't get a hug or high five or anything for driving 6 hours to rescue her and bring her home. She calls me later and I ignore it. She texts me and I ignore that too. She keeps calling me until I answer and she says she is sorry and wants to see me and to come over. I go over and she buys a bottle of jack Daniels and we drink in her kitchen and she makes me dinner and we smoke a blunt in her garage and talk about how weird of a situation we were just in. I start to think maybe everything will be cool between us as friends and ****. Christmas rolls around and I go over to her house and hangout and we go to cowboys with her sister and I spend the night and leave before she wakes up again. She is mad again. I decide oh well, we are friends she will get over it. I go camping with my sister and her boyfriend Andrew. We go to lost maples state park and it is December 29th. I tell Michelle my phone won't work but I'll hangout with her when I get back and happy New Years. I have a ****ty time camping because it is below freezing and raining and I'm horribly drunk the whole time and don't want to do anything. I climb this ****ing mountain in the freezing rain and am unsure about my life as I stare at the foggy scenery. I take mushrooms that night and the sky is clear and I feel different. I can see each individual star and it looks like they are moving and we laugh and talk by the campfire and the rain stops. I wake up on New Year's Eve freezing in my tent. I'm confused and as I look around I see my tent has a hole in it and is flooded with rain and it's so cold icicles and frost are on everything. And all my clothes are wet and I can see my breath. My sister and Andrew agree with me that this **** sucks and we should head back. When I finally get reception I text Michelle that I'm coming back and ask if she has plans for New Years because I suddenly didn't. She gets super excited and says I have to hangout with her. I didn't think anything about it so I went over and she looks beautiful to the point where I say wow out loud and she laughs. We pre game with her sister and sisters friends and drive super far to this random party. It's an alright party and me and Michelle start winning at beer pong and as midnight gets closer the party gets awesome and a bunch of people show up and Michelle asks me if I want to go smoke in her car just me and her. I say sure and we walk to the car. We sit in the back seat and are just laughing and smoking when she gets serious and asks why I never invite her over to my house and how she is confused if I like her or not and why I have never made a move. I'm drunk and high as **** and have no idea what to say and she looks sad and keeps waiting for an answer. I apologize and tell her she is welcome whenever and that I've always liked her. Next thing I know we are making out and her phone starts ringing. It's her sisters friends we came with wondering where we were and saying her sister was passed out in a room. Perfect timing. We leave her sister there and kiss at midnight and shoot off fireworks and leave at about 2 or 3 and she asks if I could drive everyone home. I'm ****ed up at this point and say yes so I don't look like a *****. Swear to god it took me like 45 minutes and I was so nervous driving drunk on New Years with a car full of drunk people and a girl I wanted to impress. We finally get back and Michelle and I go to her room and suddenly it's like a blur and we are naked and everything in the world is right and I can't believe how surreal it is. I wake up a few hours later and get my clothes on and leave. She texts me when she wakes up and asks if I could come over. I do and when I get there we are sitting in her room and we agree on rules I would later break. First rule is no cuddling after sex. The second rule was we could only have sex with each other and if either of us had sex with someone else we had to tell the other person. The third rule was to never say I love you or become attached. The fourth rule was we could never go on dates. And we came up with a code word to let the other person know we wanted to have sex. We decided on the word Roma because Michelle and been stationed in Italy and had a change jar that said that on it. We then had sex again right then and I literally couldn't be happier. This started a trend where we literally spent the night with each other every single day. We would drink coffee and kiss each other and go to work and meet for lunch and dinner and we became even closer if possible. She told me all the terrible things she had seen and that had happened to her and I wished more than anything that I could have taken all that pain away from her. She would let me hold her every night and she would freak out and cry in her sleep about children she couldn't save from dying and it scared the **** out of me and she would never remember it in the morning. I completely fell in love with her and cared more about her than I did about myself. We talked to each other all day using snapchat or texting or calling each other. And best of all she wanted to have sex as much as I did so we would always meet up. That was what I thought at the time was the best time in my life. She would like to surprise me and tell me to come to bed and be naked or send me pictures and blow me kisses when we passed each other and told me how I was her obsession and she got me my own toothbrush and soap and a pillow at her house and me and Blu became best friends and she would get mad he would choose me over her. I helped her with her homework and told her every single day how ****ing beautiful she was and then suddenly one day she was very serious with me and told me she missed her period and said if she was pregnant she would keep it because we would be great parents and I told her I would do whatever I had to to support her and one night I accidentally told her I loved her. and she said it back. And we started saying it every night. We went to a doctors office and turned out she wasn't pregnant and things felt kind of different. Suddenly it was Valentine's Day and she had made me pinky swear I wouldn't get her anything so I didn't and when I went over to her house she got me my favorite things. Beef jerky and sour punch straws and a stuffed animal version of Blu. I felt like a ******* for not getting her anything. So I wrote a letter and bought her flowers and she framed the letter in her room. Then one day she asked me what would I do if she told me I could go have sex with whoever I wanted. I was confused so I told her I had who I wanted and she reminded me of the rules and that we weren't together just friends. We started seeing each other less and less and one night we went out drinking and she told me she was asked out on a date and if I was mad. I told her I was disappointed and jealous. I had asked her a thousand times to let me take her on a real date and she always said no. She looked sad and started crying and held my hands and told me she loved me but not the same way I loved her and that I would make some girl happy and how I was the best thing ever in her life and her best friend but she didn't want to be with me or continue what we were doing anymore. I just sat there and didn't know what just happened so I tried to leave and she wouldn't let me because she wanted to talk. I told her I wasn't going to hangout with her ever again and watch some other guy get the opportunity I would have killed for. I told her she broke my heart and that I still loved her if she ever changed her mind I'd be there. And she told me to stay with her that I was too drunk to drive home and I got mad and yelled at her to leave me alone and not talk to me anymore. She tried to take my keys out of my hand so I got up and went to my car and backed up as she was pounding on my window crying and I drove away. I woke up the next day and tried to call her and apologize. She text me saying she needed some time to think and to call her in a week. I waited and called and text her and apologized over and over and she never responded. I went over to her house and she wasn't there and her sister said Michelle had been acting different and that she uses people and that she knew I loved Michelle the whole time and she felt bad for me. I never ever saw her again except when I would be driving around and see a comet delivery van I would try to catch up to it to see if maybe I could get one last look at her. But she got a new job. And eventually now a new boyfriend. And I've never gotten to talk to her since then. I even wished her happy birthday and merry Christmas. Nothing. If she ever reached out to me ever I would drop what I was doing and drive however far to see her. She is the first person I've ever said I love you to outside of my family and actually meant it and felt it. I would do anything for her and I'm sad sometimes we didn't end up having a child together. And now it's been nearly a year and my life is so drastically different but I still think about her whenever I hear old country songs like "she don't know she's beautiful". I miss her and all the adventures we had and long nights of staying up making each other laugh and baring our souls to each other. But maybe in a different life it worked out. And maybe in the future we will meet again. And if you ever read this just know I'll never call you by your real name hah I know you hate it.
Roma. Forever.
I first met Michelle at comet in Leon springs while working with a girl named Nikita from Michigan. We heard we had a new driver and I expected it to be an old man and she showed up and I literally had to stop what I was doing and look twice. I then motioned toward Nikita and told her the new driver was super pretty. She introduced herself and i thought she looked familiar but I couldn't remember from where. She said her last name was Dawson and I told her we used to ride the bus in middle school together. Just me my sister and her and her brothers. That was our whole bus. I fell in love with her immediately. I hid this by acting as causally as possible around her. However I was drinking everyday and she would always find me smoking cigarettes and ask for one. We got to know each other slightly better and I found out she was in the army previously. I was semi rude to her often and one day asked if she wanted to hangout. She said yes surprisingly and we decided to go tubing in new braunfels. I got directions to her House and wished the entire drive over there I had worked out more. She said she would drive us and I got in her car with her and her dog, Blu. We ate at taco cabana and I was still trying to be casual but she made me nervous with how beautiful she was and I couldn't eat. We listened to old country music and she told me she had been engaged right after high school and the guy didn't ask her dads permission and if I ever got married to make sure to ask the girls dad before I asked her. We had a decent time getting to know each other and we both wished we had brought alcohol because everyone else except us was drinking. Blu got his own tube and I tried and failed to stop checking her out. As we got on the bus to take us back to her car she asked what I was doing after and wanted to hangout at her place. I said yes immediately thinking "how could this day get any better?". We got to her house she lived at with other fellow employees and I was greeted by woody and woodys son who looked like Thor. Turns out Michelle and Thor are dating and both were in the army together. We all sat outside and smoked cigarettes and drank beer and I felt incredibly awkward. Thor asked how the river was and all I wanted to do was leave hah. I ended up drinking with woody and Thor and Michelle disappeared to make dinner or some ****. I left sometime after that and continued to see Michelle at work and dodged her constantly because I was embarrassed. Woody invited me over for dinner one random day so I came and brought beer and I met Thors army friends and drank with them and Michelle didn't say hi or anything to me even though we were sitting across from each other. She then text me and said sorry she wasn't talking that Thor gets jealous. We saw this huge shooting star that made the news and I wished lamely that Michelle would change her mind about me. I'm not sure what happened but a few days later woody text me and told me not to come over anymore that I was using her to get close to Michelle and I told her I wasn't. You know, like a liar. The next time I saw Michelle a week or so later she told me her and Thor broke up and she moved out of the house and was living with her aunt. I was at the comet on Babcock and she came in to pick up the last load of clothes after we were closed and asked what I was doing that night. I told her nothing that I was going to just go home so she asked if I wanted to hangout with her and her sister. I said sure and she told me to call her when I was off. I went to the Walmart across the street after and was semi drunk since I was working alone I was drinking at work. Turns out my ****ing car had a light on and wouldn't start. I was getting gum and deodorant and suddenly couldn't change before I went out. **** my life. I called her and told her sorry I couldn't go and she said she would come get me. So I waited and spoke to a homeless man at Walmart about aliens and life and her and her sister showed up and I looked terrible and just got in the car and thanked them. We went to Wild West and her sister and sisters friend were dancing and wanted me to dance also. (my worst fear) and I decided to drink to become brave enough to go do it l, so I got a beer and a shot and Michelle was upset I didn't get her one too so I went back and got more. We ended up drunk and dancing and we went outside for a cigarette and a random guy approached us and started hitting on Michelle and asked for her number and to dance with him and she said no to both surprisingly. Then she put her arms around me and told him I was her boyfriend and the guy looked super confused and was looking at me then her as if to confirm he heard what she just said. Meanwhile I'm having a heart attack inside and thinking to myself what the **** is going on. The guy looks confused, laughs and says "oh, dude I thought you were gay!" I'm now thrown off and wondering if I give off a gay vibe, and this Dude apologizes and buys us shots and disappears. We spent the rest of the night sarcastically calling each other sweetheart and angel face. I don't see her again until a few days later at work and she asks if I want to hangout again. Of course I say yes before she is done asking. Super smooth. I go over to her new house with her aunt and sister. She makes me dinner and me her and her sister and sisters friend go out to a party and she asks if I want to stay at her place. I say ok and she makes me a bed on the downstairs couch. I'm laying there feeling retarded and semi drunk and she comes and lays next to me and I felt confused because I knew she didn't like me so I just lay there awkwardly not making physical contact and when she fell asleep I got up and left. She text me the next morning and was annoyed I left without saying anything. We started hanging out everyday and night and drinking or smoking and got to know each other better than anyone else in our lives. She invited me over for thanksgiving and I came over and met her family and they had soliders come from the Air Force base in San Antonio. they were cool but I felt out of place being introduced as her friend and found out all her family was or is in the military and I was not at all. We separate from everyone and go for a walk and stop at a bridge and smoke a cigarette and she tells me Thors been trying to get back with her but she doesn't want that and we stare at each other for awhile and I'm super unsure of what to say. Ah sometimes I'm such a pussy. the army dudes come and break the awkwardness and ask if they can borrow my phone to call their families. We continue to hangout everyday and night and I now can just walk in to her house and her aunt knows me and says I'm always welcome. I quit comet sometime in December as they have finally caught on to me about what I do at work. Best decision I ever made leaving. Michelle texts me and says now she can tell me all her secrets which confuses me. I get a call that Sunday from her crying. She asks what I'm doing and I explain I just woke up. She asks if I could pick her up from Rockport. AT THE ****ING BEACH 3 hours away. She says she will tell me
Everything when I get there and that she needs me and had no one she could call. She promises it isn't drug related and some other vague ****. I say yes for some reason and get in my car and drive to Rockport the whole time I was wondering what the **** she got herself into. I finally get there and sit on my car in a hotel parking lot smoking a cigarette and she shows up with a backpack and a cooler full of bottles. I'm super annoyed and she starts explaining that she came to Rockport with our co worker Joe. A like 65 year old man. I'm super thrown off and she says he invited her and said his girlfriend Yolanda (a equally old woman) was meeting them there and they could ride together. So she went with him and she found out Yolanda wasn't going and she thought it was weird. Her and joe went to a bar and she danced with some guy and joe got jealous and left her with a note saying he was leaving and good luck getting back to San Antonio. So she called me. What the ****. She starts crying and I'm annoyed about the whole thing and stop talking to her. She asks if I want her to drive and I say no. She offers to make me drinks while I drive and I tell her no again. We eat at a random subway and she tries to give me money and I refuse so she leaves $60 in my car. She falls asleep on the way home and I just angrily stare out of my window and drive listening to blink 182 and the smiths. I get to her aunts house and wake her up. While she was asleep I put the $60 back in her purse and she doesn't notice. She gets her stuff and says thank you and closes the door and walks off. I'm now super annoyed as I didn't get a hug or high five or anything for driving 6 hours to rescue her and bring her home. She calls me later and I ignore it. She texts me and I ignore that too. She keeps calling me until I answer and she says she is sorry and wants to see me and to come over. I go over and she buys a bottle of jack Daniels and we drink in her kitchen and she makes me dinner and we smoke a blunt in her garage and talk about how weird of a situation we were just in. I start to think maybe everything will be cool between us as friends and ****. Christmas rolls around and I go over to her house and hangout and we go to cowboys with her sister and I spend the night and leave before she wakes up again. She is mad again. I decide oh well, we are friends she will get over it. I go camping with my sister and her boyfriend Andrew. We go to lost maples state park and it is December 29th. I tell Michelle my phone won't work but I'll hangout with her when I get back and happy New Years. I have a ****ty time camping because it is below freezing and raining and I'm horribly drunk the whole time and don't want to do anything. I climb this ****ing mountain in the freezing rain and am unsure about my life as I stare at the foggy scenery. I take mushrooms that night and the sky is clear and I feel different. I can see each individual star and it looks like they are moving and we laugh and talk by the campfire and the rain stops. I wake up on New Year's Eve freezing in my tent. I'm confused and as I look around I see my tent has a hole in it and is flooded with rain and it's so cold icicles and frost are on everything. And all my clothes are wet and I can see my breath. My sister and Andrew agree with me that this **** sucks and we should head back. When I finally get reception I text Michelle that I'm coming back and ask if she has plans for New Years because I suddenly didn't. She gets super excited and says I have to hangout with her. I didn't think anything about it so I went over and she looks beautiful to the point where I say wow out loud and she laughs. We pre game with her sister and sisters friends and drive super far to this random party. It's an alright party and me and Michelle start winning at beer pong and as midnight gets closer the party gets awesome and a bunch of people show up and Michelle asks me if I want to go smoke in her car just me and her. I say sure and we walk to the car. We sit in the back seat and are just laughing and smoking when she gets serious and asks why I never invite her over to my house and how she is confused if I like her or not and why I have never made a move. I'm drunk and high as **** and have no idea what to say and she looks sad and keeps waiting for an answer. I apologize and tell her she is welcome whenever and that I've always liked her. Next thing I know we are making out and her phone starts ringing. It's her sisters friends we came with wondering where we were and saying her sister was passed out in a room. Perfect timing. We leave her sister there and kiss at midnight and shoot off fireworks and leave at about 2 or 3 and she asks if I could drive everyone home. I'm ****ed up at this point and say yes so I don't look like a *****. Swear to god it took me like 45 minutes and I was so nervous driving drunk on New Years with a car full of drunk people and a girl I wanted to impress. We finally get back and Michelle and I go to her room and suddenly it's like a blur and we are naked and everything in the world is right and I can't believe how surreal it is. I wake up a few hours later and get my clothes on and leave. She texts me when she wakes up and asks if I could come over. I do and when I get there we are sitting in her room and we agree on rules I would later break. First rule is no cuddling after sex. The second rule was we could only have sex with each other and if either of us had sex with someone else we had to tell the other person. The third rule was to never say I love you or become attached. The fourth rule was we could never go on dates. And we came up with a code word to let the other person know we wanted to have sex. We decided on the word Roma because Michelle and been stationed in Italy and had a change jar that said that on it. We then had sex again right then and I literally couldn't be happier. This started a trend where we literally spent the night with each other every single day. We would drink coffee and kiss each other and go to work and meet for lunch and dinner and we became even closer if possible. She told me all the terrible things she had seen and that had happened to her and I wished more than anything that I could have taken all that pain away from her. She would let me hold her every night and she would freak out and cry in her sleep about children she couldn't save from dying and it scared the **** out of me and she would never remember it in the morning. I completely fell in love with her and cared more about her than I did about myself. We talked to each other all day using snapchat or texting or calling each other. And best of all she wanted to have sex as much as I did so we would always meet up. That was what I thought at the time was the best time in my life. She would like to surprise me and tell me to come to bed and be naked or send me pictures and blow me kisses when we passed each other and told me how I was her obsession and she got me my own toothbrush and soap and a pillow at her house and me and Blu became best friends and she would get mad he would choose me over her. I helped her with her homework and told her every single day how ****ing beautiful she was and then suddenly one day she was very serious with me and told me she missed her period and said if she was pregnant she would keep it because we would be great parents and I told her I would do whatever I had to to support her and one night I accidentally told her I loved her. and she said it back. And we started saying it every night. We went to a doctors office and turned out she wasn't pregnant and things felt kind of different. Suddenly it was Valentine's Day and she had made me pinky swear I wouldn't get her anything so I didn't and when I went over to her house she got me my favorite things. Beef jerky and sour punch straws and a stuffed animal version of Blu. I felt like a ******* for not getting her anything. So I wrote a letter and bought her flowers and she framed the letter in her room. Then one day she asked me what would I do if she told me I could go have sex with whoever I wanted. I was confused so I told her I had who I wanted and she reminded me of the rules and that we weren't together just friends. We started seeing each other less and less and one night we went out drinking and she told me she was asked out on a date and if I was mad. I told her I was disappointed and jealous. I had asked her a thousand times to let me take her on a real date and she always said no. She looked sad and started crying and held my hands and told me she loved me but not the same way I loved her and that I would make some girl happy and how I was the best thing ever in her life and her best friend but she didn't want to be with me or continue what we were doing anymore. I just sat there and didn't know what just happened so I tried to leave and she wouldn't let me because she wanted to talk. I told her I wasn't going to hangout with her ever again and watch some other guy get the opportunity I would have killed for. I told her she broke my heart and that I still loved her if she ever changed her mind I'd be there. And she told me to stay with her that I was too drunk to drive home and I got mad and yelled at her to leave me alone and not talk to me anymore. She tried to take my keys out of my hand so I got up and went to my car and backed up as she was pounding on my window crying and I drove away. I woke up the next day and tried to call her and apologize. She text me saying she needed some time to think and to call her in a week. I waited and called and text her and apologized over and over and she never responded. I went over to her house and she wasn't there and her sister said Michelle had been acting different and that she uses people and that she knew I loved Michelle the whole time and she felt bad for me. I never ever saw her again except when I would be driving around and see a comet delivery van I would try to catch up to it to see if maybe I could get one last look at her. But she got a new job. And eventually now a new boyfriend. And I've never gotten to talk to her since then. I even wished her happy birthday and merry Christmas. Nothing. If she ever reached out to me ever I would drop what I was doing and drive however far to see her. She is the first person I've ever said I love you to outside of my family and actually meant it and felt it. I would do anything for her and I'm sad sometimes we didn't end up having a child together. And now it's been nearly a year and my life is so drastically different but I still think about her whenever I hear old country songs like "she don't know she's beautiful". I miss her and all the adventures we had and long nights of staying up making each other laugh and baring our souls to each other. But maybe in a different life it worked out. And maybe in the future we will meet again. And if you ever read this just know I'll never call you by your real name hah I know you hate it.
Roma. Forever.