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Steven Hunley
08-15-2016, 12:57 AM
Forever Man

Around three o’clock, just before class let out, my phone went off and I glanced at the number. It looked like an LA number but wasn’t familiar, so I ignored it.

“Probably some jerk trying to sell me something,” I figured. Or, “Maybe the Department of Education tracked me down about that ancient student loan.”

The loan was so old, it was petrified. Cavemen wrote it up. I was fool enough to sign it and take the money and run. I can’t even remember what I spent it on, it was so long ago. I looked out the window down at Broadway and saw a shirtless scarecrow solicit spare change for a cigarette and two Brazilian students smoking with two Saudis. San Diego had finally turned autumn and I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and tie. I’d jettison the tie as soon as I left the building.

I was off in twenty minutes and would be calling Robbins Bros about the ring. I’d plotted the whole scheme out on MapQuest. The territory was unfamiliar and even labeled as a Hazard! Hazard Center was what they named it. I didn’t like the sound of it.

“Even so, a name is only a name and this should be a walk in the park.”

I decided to do something different, something to insure that our love was unique, something over the top and past all limits to convince her of the depths of my love. After all, I was serious as a heart attack, and I wondered if the ring was symbolic enough, or if it would take something more?

Did Barbara need a grand gesture? I just couldn’t figure out how to pull one off. I’d read about grand gestures once, in a story posted on Lit Net called ‘Dude Dreams of a Grand Gesture’. It made quite an impression and I still remember it word for word. It was so black, so bleak, so noir, I couldn’t help it. It was about a down and out loser who suffered from attacks of romantic imagination while being locked up.

Dude Dreams of a Grand Gesture

Dude didn't fight fires all the time. In the night the men slept. Here's where the inmates took their true recreation. In their dreams they made their escapes on a nightly basis. In the morning they'd return their night-wandering consciousness to the camp. So Dude did his share of dreaming.

Another thing was what he planned to do with money. He got it for the girl, that's true. But once he had it, what exactly was his plan? How was money the solution in his small brain? How would the money make the difference in his state of affairs with the girl? Just this: the money would make him her equal.

These two things, the money and the dream, were to fuse while he was in camp. In truth, being a fan of film, Dude was planning a grand gesture. It was a combination of film with happy endings and his flair for the dramatic. It would be grand, on an epic scale, and all for her benefit. So this grand gesture was what he dreamed of, even now locked up, even so with the money run out. He no longer had the girl, or the money, but he still had the dream. Sometimes for a man the dream is enough.

On Monday and Friday nights he dreamed this:

His pockets bulging with bills he proceeded north east to Michigan. The drive was sumptuous and the weather perfect. He would pull up to her work place at the YMCA, run inside, grab her by the hand, toss a roll that would choke a horse to the supervisor, and snatch her away and off into the sunset, that's what he'd do. That was the up-front in-your-face version. It wasn't a cinematic triumph, but it would do. He dreamed that one frequently.

On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night when his REM sleep was longer, there was this version:

He'd drive up again in a wonderful shiny car, chrome flashing in the sunlight, music playing something triumphant, like the theme to Rocky in stereophonic and Dolby sound, eight channels. The road, quite straight in southern California would grow curvy and tortuous with each mile it progressed farther north-east to Ironwood. But not to worry, the car, usually a Porsche 911, would only laugh at the roadway and negotiate every turn with ease.

He would wear aviator sunglasses and a leather bomber-jacket, it had to be a leather bomber-jacket, the ones with the map of Europe printed on the lining, and he'd pull up and stroll into her pasty shop. Naturally, she wouldn't recognize him. Then he'd engage in some clever repartee full of hidden innuendos. He'd try to seduce her with his words only to find out it was ‘no can do’ because she was enamored with some guy with a disreputable past that she had lost touch with but had never given up hope for his return, kinda like he was in the foreign legion. Then he'd remove the glasses and she'd faint dead away. He always liked it when they fainted dead away, it seemed so lady-like, and he'd take it from there.

Long shot, profiles in silhouettes kissing in the sunset, black construction paper cut-outs, lip to impassioned lip, that sort of cinematic thing.

Variations on these themes were his nightly companions. In the morning he'd wake up to find himself alone in his bunk, no woman, no car, no freedom and no money. It wasn't much of a way to start your day, but it was all he had. Kind of discouraging isn't it? Always measuring our narrow pathetic lives against the width of the silver screen. But we're Americans. That's what we do.

Dude was the King of Wishful Thinking... that’s all. Everyone wants to be the King or Queen of Something. Without that, life just isn’t worth living.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, “There is nothing more common than the desire to be remarkable.”

I wasn’t sure what it would take, but decided Barb deserved a grand gesture to assure her she was the only woman in my life, and that she was never second best. She got this second best impression on Lit Net. She’d read all the old stories concerning Venom, her pet name for a woman I’d known earlier who lied and then dumped me…twice. They were written when I was exercising my theory that writing, as a form of communication, but without body language and gestures, was poor communication and lacking. Therefore the writing should always be over the top.

“With you and her,” she once told me, it was like this!”

She snapped her fingers, and then continued.

“But with you and I, it was first a glow and then a spark and finally a conflagration. Why was she so different?”

“I exaggerated. It was a long-distance relationship with dozens of comings and goings artificially inflated with drama.”

It was a weak explanation. I was embarrassed to discuss the relationship because I was uncomfortable when admitting my lack of judgment about Venom’s true character. It was one of those “I don’t want to talk about it” items.

I didn’t know how to mend the situation. But I had more pressing matters at hand. I checked my phone again and called the unknown number back just in case it was one of my kids.

“Hello, Robbins Brothers of Torrance.”

OMG it was them, the ring people, and it turned out they connected me to San Diego and the ring was ready! And I could have it engraved too, but due to the slim design they couldn’t make the B in Babygirl a capital B, it was too narrow!

Barbara and I picked it out together. The narrow loops of diamonds complimented the loops in her mother’s wedding ring and matched. Forming an infinity sign, they symbolized a connection to her mother and a love forged with precious earthy minerals to last forever, a promise wrapped around her finger.

And besides, I intended to be her forever man.

I should have picked a wider band! I should have picked a bigger diamond too. The Hope! The Koh-i-Noor! Something from the Crown Jewels. I check my wallet. No Can Do. So I make a command decision.

“Use a small b.”

Now we’re in business.

©2014 StevenHunley



http://youtu.be/BGlRG44WSDc King of Wishful Thinking

https://youtu.be/0gDvR1sZ6I4 Forever Man[/QUOTE]

BMistark
08-16-2016, 03:56 AM
Interesting, I would love a continuation of the grand gesture �� I got my wife a infinity ring. I was rummaging through overstock, a random antique website with anythin you could think of, and she fell in love with a ring. I went to every jewler in town and showed them the picture, eventually I found an exact duplicate at Kay's an got it for her. For the weddin band I had to get her a double band for everything else looked side heavy. Though it hurt the wallet a bit I don't regret it one bit

Steven Hunley
09-19-2016, 06:41 PM
This Babygirl thing became a thorn in my side when we had the ‘discussion” only one week after I picked out the ring and decided to have it engraved.
“You have to stop calling me Babygirl,” Barb said, while she was putting on her face and getting ready for work. In was in her personal Versailles hall of Mirrors, the one’s I hid out in earlier until the coast was clear but now I was caught with my pants down out in the open. I was putting on Wrangler shorts from Wallmart while she was applying Chanel from Neiman Markus.

“What?”

“I read in the letters you called Venom, Babygirl. You called her that in letter after letter.”

“Yes, Babygirl, but I just called her that after running out of terms of endearment.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, there was Darling and Dear and Baby. Sometimes I called her Honey. I called Kristina Honey too. I like the term Honey.”

“Yeah, I know. You call me that too.”

There’s a tone in her voice and it’s leaving me puzzled. It drives me mad when she does this. Simply mad, I tell you, mad. Victor Frankenstein mad because I know something’s coming if I don’t nip it in the bud before it blossoms. So I get out my repair sheers and slice a sweet one.

“There was Babygirl simply because I watched Criminal Minds at the time and stole it. Some agent would use when he talked to this computer geek girl. It wasn’t really Venom’s name. But it really was your name, one your father used. So I’m still calling you that and you’ll have to get used to it.”

By this time I’m cinching my imitation army web belt and pulling down the X large T shirt she got me. I gave her a long hard look.

“You’re worthy.”

Then I give her another long hard look and allow her to watch my wheels turn. She is worthy, supremely worthy, and Venom lacked even understanding the meaning. Barbara was prettier, a better mother, more of a scholar, a harder worker who saw potential in me where Venom only saw limitations and faults. Barb was worthy of my service in true Cavalier fashion, and worthy once again of my love. Barb’s character was sterling. With her I felt better about myself and about my future.

Just now she was putting in contacts, all the better to see my potential with. Then she looked up.

“OK, you can still call me Babygirl,”she said demurely, and put my heart to rest.

I sighed what they referred to in English penny dreadfulls as a ‘sigh of relief’. The ring would be engraved as ordered. And my life would be engraved by this woman, once and for all, and once, and for the better. I adored her.

There were several factors that led me to the long-distance relationship with Venom. It started on a now-defunct website called Eons. I had a couple of pictures posted and she responded. The timing was perfect. It was shortly after Debbie’s death and I was starved for love. I was famished. Anything that appeared on the event horizon was perceived to be water. And not just any water, an oasis with date palms and shimmering pools of precious cool water. Any woman who gave me attention would be greeted with enthusiasm. I’ve always been a fool for attention, and self-validation was beyond my kenning. Any pat on the back would spur me to work harder and harder, and Venom was the ultimate back-slapper. A ridged iron fist clothed by a deceptive velvet glove, and I didn’t have a clue as to her true identity.

The differences between the two women couldn’t have been more pronounced. One was a schemer and always jealous of those who had more. The other was sure of her beauty and position and always on the lookout for those who felt slighted or had less. One could only talk the talk while the other was able to actually walk the walk. One was always deceptive while the other couldn’t have managed to be more up front. There was never any comparison, not even apples to oranges. But even so, I’m not done with comparisons.

There was so much dishonesty in the relationship with Venom, it should have died on the spot, and it was my lack of maturity, in addition to the long-distance, that kept it alive. Now things were different and it was the real deal.

Instead of phony and staged greetings and partings in public places like the Sacramento Airport there was the real-life drama of the House of Death in Carlsbad and my witnessing the death of Barb’s mother Edythe.

There was real drama there and I knew it. Love and Life and Death, the three big variables we all have to deal with, and none of us can handle.

This time there is no inflated drama with pre-plotted scenes practiced weeks before hand, like amateur romantic novels that follow the same old pattern.
Venom never cared for her mother much, and found her self-centered and uncaring. In the end her story was like mother like daughter. Uncaring and loveless begets uncaring and loveless. I have fond memories of my own mom, as tough as she was. And I always looked at a woman’s tie to motherhood and how she viewed her kids and kept in touch if they were away.

Yet I chose Venom. At the time, there was no explanation.

Barbara taught her own kids the best way she knew how. She modeled good behavior, strength of purpose, academic prowess, and taught them the importance of learning. She was the ultimate woman in my book and at this point and with her guidance I found out what good knowing Venom did me, the fact she dumped me, and how to make something positive out of the experience.

“We all make mistakes,” Barb told me one day, “to err is human. Your last mistake is your greatest mentor.”

“I’m embarrassed about my lack of judgment,” I replied sheepishly.

“Don’t be ashamed. Wear it as a badge of pride-lessons learned.”

“Well, I’d like to think I’m more mature now,”

“Look at it this way. You’ve aged like fine wine and improved your taste.”

I like her attitude about this, it’s so positive and all. And besides, this is the real me talking now, the fella with boundless enthusiasm.

“I’m not going to make any more mistakes.”

Barb gave me one of her trade-mark therapist looks and gently objected.

“Oh no! You’re going to make plenty of mistakes. That’s how we mature, how we grow. Folks often need to give themselves permission to be human. Perfectionism sucks. Perfectionism screams ‘Like me because I don’t like myself’. But it’s a fake posture. Your position will be real, and full of all the mistakes that made you a human being.”

Who wouldn’t love a woman who’s so understanding? When you look in a dictionary under ‘kind-hearted’, I betcha there’s a picture of Barb. I have no doubt, in fact I’m certain. Barb is a new and exciting happy ending in my life, and I embrace the idea as easily as embracing her in my arms. We’re so close we complement each other like formal black and white. So close sometimes, it’s like that old song by Sinatra, ‘I’ve got you under my skin’.

I can’t say enough, and coarse words are poor substitutes for tender feelings. But I’ll give it and Gershwin a second chance. Go ahead George, light another cigar and compose yourself.

to be continued???

©2014 StevenHunley

http://youtu.be/_XCVnV5CGh0 I’ve Got You Under my Skin