idontknow15
08-13-2016, 06:06 AM
Here's a summary of what has been going on in my life recently:
I dated a guy for two and a half years. It was an incredibly strong, passionate romance. I moved out for the first time six months ago with him, and since then I had kinda constantly revolved my entire life around him. I dropped out of college to try to work more to support us, and I started falling off the map with my own friends and starting hanging out with only his friends a lot. We broke up because we both wanted our space, but since we've broken up our "friends" have not spoken to me once, I had to move back home and I'm moving again in a month with my dad pretty far away, and I was kind of just tossed into the dark and left to fend for myself. But since I've been alone, I've discovered that I am a hell of a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for.
I've been writing for a while now, always tend to write poetry that is incredibly expressive and has to rhyme a lot when I am upset, which can honestly make me more upset if I have writers block and can't rhyme. So tonight, I was talking to a friend about how I've been feeling like I have a lot of pent up emotions inside, and he suggested just :sad:writing everything out and not even taking a second to think about rhyming and I'm actually really proud of the results. So, here's a little bit of my rambling:
I'm not a bad person.
I make mistakes.
I scream and I yell when things don't go right
When things don't go my way
And I'll admit I was incredibly selfish with you
Incredibly possessive over you and anything involving you
And that's exactly where we went south
We've always been crazy over each other
We were tricked into thinking that was love,
that it was passion
We were not in love
I loved you, oh god I loved you so much
But I loved the thought of you
The thought of having someone
But my heart breaks as I start to realize,
I wasn't in love with you
And you weren't in love with me
Once we parted ways, everyone ignored me
You kept your life the same
It made me realize how blind I was to everything
You were my crutch in life and without you,
Well I thought I would die
But I realize not that I only have myself
We all only have ourselves
We can't rely that much on other people
And we can't let ourselves become blind to reality
just because we think we are in "love"
I spent the first few weeks hating myself
hating my life hating feeling like you were with someone else
But you know what? Who cares?
You have a right to do what you want and so do I
So I choose to not care about what you're doing
I choose to focus on bettering myself in- every single way I can
I choose to let you go
I will forever remember and cherish our good times together,
but the real lesson here is we both needed each other to learn how to grow up
It almost makes it seem like two and a half years was completely wasted
But without you, I wouldn't have been able to find myself,
So thank you my love,
I promise I'll remember you forever,
but until then I surrender.
I dated a guy for two and a half years. It was an incredibly strong, passionate romance. I moved out for the first time six months ago with him, and since then I had kinda constantly revolved my entire life around him. I dropped out of college to try to work more to support us, and I started falling off the map with my own friends and starting hanging out with only his friends a lot. We broke up because we both wanted our space, but since we've broken up our "friends" have not spoken to me once, I had to move back home and I'm moving again in a month with my dad pretty far away, and I was kind of just tossed into the dark and left to fend for myself. But since I've been alone, I've discovered that I am a hell of a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for.
I've been writing for a while now, always tend to write poetry that is incredibly expressive and has to rhyme a lot when I am upset, which can honestly make me more upset if I have writers block and can't rhyme. So tonight, I was talking to a friend about how I've been feeling like I have a lot of pent up emotions inside, and he suggested just :sad:writing everything out and not even taking a second to think about rhyming and I'm actually really proud of the results. So, here's a little bit of my rambling:
I'm not a bad person.
I make mistakes.
I scream and I yell when things don't go right
When things don't go my way
And I'll admit I was incredibly selfish with you
Incredibly possessive over you and anything involving you
And that's exactly where we went south
We've always been crazy over each other
We were tricked into thinking that was love,
that it was passion
We were not in love
I loved you, oh god I loved you so much
But I loved the thought of you
The thought of having someone
But my heart breaks as I start to realize,
I wasn't in love with you
And you weren't in love with me
Once we parted ways, everyone ignored me
You kept your life the same
It made me realize how blind I was to everything
You were my crutch in life and without you,
Well I thought I would die
But I realize not that I only have myself
We all only have ourselves
We can't rely that much on other people
And we can't let ourselves become blind to reality
just because we think we are in "love"
I spent the first few weeks hating myself
hating my life hating feeling like you were with someone else
But you know what? Who cares?
You have a right to do what you want and so do I
So I choose to not care about what you're doing
I choose to focus on bettering myself in- every single way I can
I choose to let you go
I will forever remember and cherish our good times together,
but the real lesson here is we both needed each other to learn how to grow up
It almost makes it seem like two and a half years was completely wasted
But without you, I wouldn't have been able to find myself,
So thank you my love,
I promise I'll remember you forever,
but until then I surrender.