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caddy_caddy
08-05-2016, 02:22 PM
I stink
Therefore
I exist
Says the lady
More Than a fortnight
Without a shower
No drop of water
Will taste my body
No drop of water
Will devour my body
I stink
Therefore
I exist
The tasty smell
Of heaven
Will enliven
My lost senses
Will embark on
Its journey
To the lonely shore
I stink
Therefore
I exist
On a missing planet
Craving for the smell
For the ecstasy of my cheap heroin
Up
Up
And I go up
Says The dirty lady
I scratch my skin
With my nails
Looking for the black buildups
Building up dreams
Writing my name
With the play dough of my childhood
I stink
Therefore
I exist
Says the nameless lady
I lick the sweat
From over my body
With my tongue
How glorious
Are the beads of paradise
That cover my very
Cheap body
I stink
Therefore
I exist
Says the heavenly lady
And I sleep tight
For the very first night
On the stinky cushion
And the stinky blanket
I stink
Therefore
I exist.

Danik 2016
08-05-2016, 07:32 PM
Very ironical, but sad!

caddy_caddy
08-06-2016, 10:20 AM
This is your transparent soul that allows you to feel the sadness behind the irony.
I really appreciate any comment .
Thanks for your time and reading

YesNo
08-06-2016, 11:04 AM
I suppose one could also say, "I smell good therefore I exist."

I recently read Tom Sorell's "Descartes A Very Short Introduction". The claim of "I think therefore I am" was a way to get around a hypothetical situation where a demonic deceiver was deliberately tricking him. Descartes could not trust his senses nor what he could rationally conclude based on their evidence. Also the demon was manipulating his thoughts. However, that was one thing the demonic deceiver could not deceive him about at least according to Descartes.

caddy_caddy
08-06-2016, 11:27 AM
suppose one could also say, "I smell good therefore I exist."

Allow me to differ with you .One can't say I smell good therefore I exist.
Smelling good is " unnatural process" . you only smell good with soap , perfume,etc... meanwhile stinking is a natural process. The smell belongs to you and only you.

Danik 2016
08-06-2016, 03:20 PM
Well, why not simply; "I smell, therefore I exist.". I guess it is because, To stink has a negative connotation(at least among humans). It points at personal negligence of the own body or external obstacles.Or both.
Soap isnīt necessary. Indians used to be very clean people because they had the habit of daily bathing in the river. I donīt know if the remaining tribes mantain that habit.

tailor STATELY
08-07-2016, 12:56 AM
Interesting poem IMHO about an anonymous lady protagonist who lives a life of drugs - and relates the highs and lows of her day to day drug experiences; yet still she exists and is aware of it... and wants us to know. I have seen what drugs can do to one's life in my family, though not to the full extent of your protagonist.

Your refrain might benefit with a line break here and there.

Hoping this is a dramatization of a Western prevalence and not one close to you.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Delta40
08-09-2016, 04:13 AM
I'm less interested in the drug angle so much as there is more than one way realize our presence. Keep it simple and real. It works for me!

caddy_caddy
08-09-2016, 09:54 AM
Thank you all for your time ad reading.
It's up to the reader to interpret the poem as he / she feels.
This is what keeps the poem alive. The writer's intention is not important here.

Delta40
08-11-2016, 06:34 AM
You're so right Caddy caddy.

Jerrybaldy
08-19-2016, 06:59 AM
Hey. I think the repetition of the title could be reduced but that aside I thought it was very good with great turns of phrases and a prevailing darkness. Nice job.

caddy_caddy
08-22-2016, 11:12 AM
Hey. I think the repetition of the title could be reduced but that aside I thought it was very good with great turns of phrases and a prevailing darkness. Nice job.
Hello Jerrybaldy
The repetition has to do with the obsessive behavior. The obsession with the smell and the idea itself .
Thx for your reading and comment