A Little Bit Of Humour # 176

[Biggus]

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 377

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a lama
And that’s because she’s
A short sighted farmer

IF THE SINGULAR IS THIS

If the singular is this
And the plural is these,
Why isn’t the plural of kiss
Ever referred to as kese?

I MADE MY GIRL BIMBETTE

I made my girl Bimbette
Really laugh on Saturday
The only problem is I told
Her the joke on Wednesday

APPARENTLY A GOOD COMPOST HEAP SHOULD

Apparently a good compost heap should
Get hot enough to poach an egg on it,
But not so hot it would cook a lobster
Well poached or not I am not eating it

MY HUSBAND IS LIKE A PETROL MOWER

My husband is like a petrol mower
Although he is considerably slower
They are both difficult to get started
Emit foul smells when they’ve farted
And are normally caked in grime
And they only work half the time

I'M A GARDENER AND I'M OK

I'm a gardener and I'm ok
I sleep in the allotment shed all day
I dress in comfy clothing,
That my wife would throw away
Oh I'm happy on the allotment
As I’m not in her way

(Sung to the tune of Monty Python's “I'm a Lumberjack”)

A VERTICALLY CHALLENGED MAN

A vertically challenged man
Went to see his GP
Without an appointment
And he was told at reception
That the doctor would see him
But he’d have to a little patient

MY WIFE WAS IN THE BATHROOM

My wife was in the bathroom
When I suddenly heard her shout
She had rubbed on hand cream
And couldn’t turn the knob to get out

FOGHORN LEGHORN LE ROOSTER

Foghorn Leghorn Le Rooster
Crossed a busy Parisian Rue
Because he had something
Important to cockadoodle dooo

WE MUST REWRITE THE HISTORY BOOKS

We must rewrite the history books
King Tut was not really Egyptian
Dad was a Scot, his Mum Spanish
And he was named Tartan Carmen

[YesNo]

I liked the ones best about the gardener on the allotment and how the petrol mower is like a husband and I am glad bimbette finally got the joke.

[tailor STATELY]

lol... I believed you must have been a wee bit in your cups this offering:

"But he’d have to (be) a little patient.

I thought lama should be llama but stand corrected as it seemed you might have been Dalai'ing with us. Both are correct evidently, though lama refers to the genus and llama the domestic animal.

"Tartan Carmen" - hysterical

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Biggus]

Thanks YN

[Biggus]

Thanks Tailor