Short Story Riff Thread

[Pompey Bum]

This is a new writing game concocted by heartwing and moi meme. The idea is to read stories any of us write based on a very specific premise, and then to write a variant that is different enough to be uniquely your own. Anyone should feel free to comment on the stories, but leave petty animosities at the door.

We will figure out the various premises we use as we go along. The current premise is an encounter with a talking animal while lost in the wilderness. The idea was inspired by a story called The Squirrel in the Forrest by a new member, vjoogerperson. That story was a Hunger Games-ish fantasy, but yours can adopt any style you like.

Because of vjoogerperson's unique roll in this thread, he or she is to be venerated as its founding member. The story and further discussion of this thread can be found at the following link. (I didn't want to cut and paste it without the Founder's permission).

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?85248-FANTASY-The-Squirrel-in-the-Forest

If that's not clear, maybe it will become so once we start.

Story Premise: an encounter with a talking animal while lost in the wilderness

[Pompey Bum]

Okay, my encountering-a-talking-animal-while-lost-in-the-woods story is done and should be proofed by sometime tomorrow. Is heartwing still around?

[Turia]

She humfed, those people, they have no idea what they are talking about. Maybe my place is here, where no people exist. All I ever encounter is hate, anger, they don’t understand me at all.

She walked along, thinking. I tried, I seriously tried. I mean I learned to think like they do, make decisions like they do. I did everything they did, and I was happy and they were happy.

But life changes, and I keep getting thrown into new things, new things I’m always pointed out for failing. I barely got a grasp on the old things, and now you throw me into something new? He walked, and kicked a stone as he went.

It’s not fair. I don’t want to be some kind of example. I mean seriously, what is the difference between myself and a test subject, even if I am the scientist?

No, I want to,….As he walked deeper into the forest the smell of the air came rushing into his senses. He almost, okay to be fair, he did actually burst out laughing at the smell. It was so clean, and familiar. He just stood there a moment to smell, and that made him laugh though to this day he was unsure why.

He knew he was standing there too long though. She could hear the trees rustle, but the earth beneath his feet never shook. Not even for one second. “Show yourself wind!” she said assertively, and laughed at the idea. There was no wind.

It was getting late and he decided to find shelter, with the promise of maybe a fire. Neither of those would happen.

He found a decent tree and checked around it, no terrible nature here. She curled up by the tree and closed her eyes.

“Shhhh!”

He jumped awake. “The ****?!?!” He listened for a minute more, then decided in the silence he had been overly tired, and laid back down.

“SHHHHHH!”

He jumped up again. “SHHHHH!”

"I’m not saying anything!” he shouted! He threw a rock.

By this time she was wide awake, and couldn’t fall back asleep again. He sat in the darkness and listened to the sound of the wind. It told him everything about trees, and the earth.

And I will edit/finish this tomorrow, maybe .

[Pompey Bum]

Oh, I'm glad you decided to post something, Turia. I'll let you finish it before I comment, though please note as you edit that your character seems to go through several unaccountable sex change procedures. She becomes he, he becomes she--it's like a Lou Reed song. I look forward to seeing how it all works out, though. In the meantime I have decided to add a couple new scenes to my story.

Does anyone know where heartwing has gotten off to?

[Turia]

The way I was originally going with it was that there were two separate entities, close enough to act as one. The first entity would be the human walking through the forest, and the second would later turn out to be an animal spirit guide. The sounds and eventual somewhat taunting of nature, would serve as an antagonist to bring out deeply rooted issues the guy was confronting. The story was going to end with him hanging himself in the forest after finding enlightenment, and being unable to reconcile his own insignificance (enlightenment isn't for everyone). The "she", was the animal attempting to find a connection with the man by parroting back to him his own resentments. As the story developed, and he started asserting himself more, she would be like a subtle voice in the background.

But!.....I (once again) was drunk when writing that, and now I find it difficult to try and pick up the train of thought again to continue a consistent sounding story, so I probably wont end up finishing it. :/ Now I'm off to read your story. :)

Oh, lol, I see you're waiting to post your story. Not sure where heatwing is.

**Another cool interpretation of the ending would be that he simply loved it in the forest and never left.

[Pompey Bum]

Ah, that demon rum will get you everytime, Turia. Sounds like an interesting idea, though. Madness is supposed to be a potential side effect of meditation. You could definitely do something with that in a story.


Oh, lol, I see you're waiting to post your story. Not sure where heatwing

Yeah, she seems to have flown the coop. And it looks like no one else is into the concept of the thread so maybe we should just drop it. I enjoyed writing my story (it turned out to be 6055 words long!) I've been thinking about opening a site blog and posting it there. And if heartwing makes it back, maybe we can try this again. It's weird her disappearing like that. I hope she's okay.

[Turia]

I'm still interested in reading it if you post it here. I'm also way too new to know the significance of heartwing.

Oh! the other person posting--terrible with names.

[Pompey Bum]

Yes, her. She was new, too. I was hoping she was just off writing her story like I was, but it's starting to look like she was a runner. :)

I'll post my story somewhere on the site. I want to proof it one more time, so maybe it won't go up untill Monday. But if I get time over the weekend, it could be sooner. I hope you like it. It was fun to write.

[Turia]

Yes, her. She was new, too. I was hoping she was just off writing her story like I was, but it's starting to look like she was a runner. :)

I'll post my story somewhere on the site. I want to proof it one more time, so maybe it won't go up untill Monday. But if I get time over the weekend, it could be sooner. I hope you like it. It was fun to write.

Ah crap, I had no idea about those side effects of meditation. Very interesting google read. Thanks.

Well please post a link. I would be curious to read.

[Pompey Bum]

Ah crap, I had no idea about those side effects of meditation. Very interesting google read. Thanks.

So write the story. :)


Well please post a link. I would be curious to read.

I will. And hopefully heartwing will come back.