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JonathanManley
07-19-2016, 05:42 PM
The crowd jeered and took selfies
before I took my leap,
or at least that’s how
the newspaper put it;
that I’d been goaded with shouts
of ‘How far can you bounce?’.
But I could hardly have heard
from the tarmac below
all the way up to the top
of the multi-storey car-park.
No, I didn’t want witnesses
but couldn’t really care less
that they stayed for the spectacle,
I’d have jumped either way.
So I suppose there’s no need
to ‘worry for this generation’,
as one onlooker was quoted –
who’d asked not to be named.

desiresjab
07-20-2016, 04:46 PM
The crowd jeered and took selfies
before I took my leap,
or at least that’s how
the newspaper put it;
that I’d been goaded with shouts
of ‘How far can you bounce?’.
But I could hardly have heard
from the tarmac below
all the way up to the top
of the multi-storey car-park.
No, I didn’t want witnesses
but couldn’t really care less
that they stayed for the spectacle,
I’d have jumped either way.
So I suppose there’s no need
to ‘worry for this generation’,
as one onlooker was quoted –
who’d asked not to be named.

I like that. Reads very well. A self contained moment. Does the title come from a real situation, or is it something that came to you out of the blue?

JonathanManley
07-21-2016, 04:26 PM
Thanks for your feedback on this desiresjab. No, unfortunately the 'How far can you bounce?' title does come from a real situation.

desiresjab
07-21-2016, 07:02 PM
Thanks for your feedback on this desiresjab. No, unfortunately the 'How far can you bounce?' title does come from a real situation.

Uh-oh. How dare reality impinge on our poetry like that? Mentioning the tarmac and the parking garage made the setting seem real and brought it into focus for me. They caused a long distance shot of the scene in my mind to occur.

mahmod qabaga
07-22-2016, 07:05 AM
a wonder full poem used nice formation industrial