Death at the zone of sun

[Mohammad Ahmad]

Death at the zone of sun

Severe bloodshed and the matter is serious
My Iraq is on the brink of creeping danger
Innocent people could say hi to who answer
And the fate is ominous comes on heads down
As the wind when smoothed the ground
Whispering under the tool of those vulgar
The honest of them is either bagger or burglar
Dark nights and the moon has a dim shadow
And the stars being clinched on high skies
Sending blazes of blasts mixed with fires
Sparkling down and up the mouths of rivers
And the soul of ego is implanted between rips
It could be never washing the salty bodies
And a sparrow might be frightened going abroad
As a migrant who never thought to come back
While its bough shaking and crying
A flake of sorrow welcoming the dawn
And a man in that side going frozen
To those still at north having no desire
But crumbled on cities as blind nation

[YesNo]

Negative social mood doesn't hit everyone at the same time. Best wishes.

[desiresjab]

I am almost positive this was written in another language and run through Google translate.

[Danik 2016]

Even in the translation if it is one, one perceives its strong lyricism.

[desiresjab]

Poetry is what is mangled in google translation.

[Mohammad Ahmad]

I am almost positive this was written in another language and run through Google translate.

Thank you came and read but read this please

May God bless you where you saw it translated into another language? Are you sure? I think because you know that I am An Arabic person you still believe that it goes translated, many poems I wrote before like this or more the last one I posted month ago or more , here its link:
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?84923-Why-do-we-fear-the-death!&p=1318307&highlight=#post1318307
While I searched all poems before or after this last one I noticed they all having the same style; just look and examine and you sure will in full satisfaction.

2- Second thing of course I am translator have translated many poems but at most times I wrote my poem in English then I translate it to Arabic as what I did with the novel which I wrote three years ago.
Man is a mixture of thoughts and passion or sad emotions engraved or have been graved into his deep of soul and when the time of the poet once comes stimulating his words' tone goes effectively into a good tone whether it is sad or glad.

3- Now I need not to swear that I have noticed or read or write a similar of one's style or borrowing even one word of this poem from anyone or anymore place or situation or site or magazine at all.
However, I may like to add that anyone if randomly shall look and examine into others poetry, he will no doubt find similar or near similar whether on diction or titles or the soul of writing since people having the same emotion as God created them Hindus or Germanic or Semite or Arab.

4- if you take a quick glance and could find the long poem I wrote at the beginning days I came to this forum three years ago or more and could read the certain poem (Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam) on which I tried writing a style similar to Edward Fitzgerald, you will be sure that the particularity of anyone no doubt will differ even sometimes looked parallel.
A further examination may sure minds that people having in such space the same mechanism but they are not one (referring to the above mentioning poem I tried like Edward Fitzgerald writing)

[Mohammad Ahmad]

Poetry is what is mangled in google translation.

It is not translated by Google , Google translation is funny and I tried it when still I was student before 8 years ago to see how does it work and I noticed that it is funny.
I advise anyone not to depend on it anymore or anytime.
It is funny, it is funny

This is my language and I am sure that my writings are hundred times best than more Englishmen poems who can't write two complete lines
Many poems I read here of native or at least having European tongue into this site are Funny and trash and if I want criticizing I shall cancel many of them by black line and I am the Arab.

1000 damns to Google or to who found and established Google translation if not found you would not accuse me

[desiresjab]

I did not think someone else wrote it. I thought you wrote it in Arabic and ran it through a translator. It reads disjointed and ungrammatical. I can appreciate it a lot more that you are struggling to say these things in your non-native language, than running them through a translator. Sometimes they sound the same. Keep writing in English.

[Mohammad Ahmad]

I did not think someone else wrote it. I thought you wrote it in Arabic and ran it through a translator. It reads disjointed and ungrammatical. I can appreciate it a lot more that you are struggling to say these things in your non-native language, than running them through a translator. Sometimes they sound the same. Keep writing in English.

No dear No I need not to swear, but you compel me to Swear , please read on my all poems, I don't challenge others but if any honest one -and yet I think that there are many honest men in this forum- he or she will give me the right and will encourage me.
I sure know if one wants to compare my literary works with others, will no doubt mark me at the first grade or at a top grade, I am proud of my poetry
As I said I often wrote my poems in English and I never wrote poems in Arabic then I translate it to English, I declared many times ago at many occasions that I love the English language more than my native tongue, the Arabic, and many times when I was student I said to my teachers I preferred speak and translate into English not to write or translate one word in Arabic and that's my issue for long time ago.
I thank you to come and read and I shall open my chest to any critic or to any question.. good by
2- it is not shame to write one's poem in any language then translate it to English but the shame when one picked others work and attributing to himself saying that's mine
3- my plan or my custom when I translate one work I often declare it is translated and mentioned it

[Mohammad Ahmad]

delete it runs on confusion I don't know why

[Mohammad Ahmad]

Negative social mood doesn't hit everyone at the same time. Best wishes.

I thank you and ever I am in need to your instructions and guidance. Best wishes for you too

[Mohammad Ahmad]

Even in the translation if it is one, one perceives its strong lyricism.
I thank you Danik so much to saying even if it is translated but make sure, it is not translated at all
The ordeal on which my country passes now is too much difficult and it runs on tongue
Sometimes I couldn't write even one line but when I supposed that my mind being full imagination i got ready musing on poetry

[Mohammad Ahmad]

To those still at north having no desire
But crumbled on cities as blind nation
*****
I see that's necessary to explain the last two lines ( To those still at north having no desire) it does mean that Iraq disclose for two portions, the South and the North -the regional divisions against the civil war which taking place now, that the north people feel out of desire as being in oneself conflicted or rather unhappy feeling sorrow or as one's feeling his hand is captured, thus the second line clearly disclosed it to see that those people feeling crumbled as a blind nation

[desiresjab]

To those still at north having no desire
But crumbled on cities as blind nation
*****
I see that's necessary to explain the last two lines ( To those still at north having no desire) it does mean that Iraq disclose for two portions, the South and the North -the regional divisions against the civil war which taking place now, that the north people feel out of desire as being in oneself conflicted or rather unhappy feeling sorrow or as one's feeling his hand is captured, thus the second line clearly disclosed it to see that those people feeling crumbled as a blind nation

I don't know what you said, but I know it wasn't translated.

[Mohammad Ahmad]

You are welcome
Google translation many people who are not translators and who feeling in need to a prompt translation would use it especially for example the scientific translation then after the text has been completed they go editing here or there on their texts. I don't know as many people said that Google accepts on French language being able translating the French given data more on which English course or text, this information whether it is fact or not, I don't know because I don't use French language at all although I had it a course for two years while I was student.
I feel that the French language bothering me looks like heavy on tongue.
Before month ago, I tried using Google for a lyric Kurdish poem or Persian to translate it for Arabic I laughed when I saw it went making it funny. Most of words transliterated them and couldn't give the meanings.
This is example: look no meaning can be understood or can be considered meaningful sentences, the words between brackets seemingly are Arabic letters but no word like these found in Arabic language and those not putting between brackets although are Arabic letters but haven't considerable meaning. (Language 1 Persian, language 2 Arabic)
1-عاشقی بی دل ده نالی مه یلی گریانی هه یه
بی شکه هه وره تریشقه تاوی بارانی هه یه

2- (أنا أبكي دون حب ( نالي مايو ييل
(هيه هيه صدمت فترة دون المطر( تاويTryshq

[desiresjab]

If you were talking to an American on the street, with some effort they could probably untangle what you were trying to tell them, if they hung in there and did not give up. This is because you know a lot of words, so you can come at what you are trying to say in more than one way. Many of your sentences are quite unintelligle on the page. The clauses in your sentences are disjointed and not connected properly. The emotion that wants to come out has no way out.

I think you have not heard enough English spoken properly. If you have been around a lot of English speakers, then they themselves only half understood the language. I am not saying this to hurt you. You want to write better in English or not? Learn to make a proper sentence. There is such a thing. Non-native speakers have written great literature, like Conrad and Nabakov, so it can be done. But they did not do it by stringing improper and unintelligible sentences together. If they are improper, you at least want them to be intelligible.

Whereas others might throw you compliments or tired phrases, and allow their politeness to interfere with your progress, I do not operate that way when it comes to poetry. I will tell you what is wrong, and maybe how to correct it. You need to read, read, read, and read more English literature, paying attention to how sentences are made. Read prose, not poetry. Read novels and magazines. If you say you have always done these things, then you need to pay more attention to how what you are reading is written.

Another tipoff that you are not a native speaker is the lack of colloqialisms in your prose. People intimate with a language use them all the time. I just used one.

Are you going to continue implying that English is your native language? Native language means the first one you learned. It doesn't matter. I believe in the advice I have given you. Good luck, Mohammad.