Back in the Round

[Wilyem Clark]

You board the carousel again.
You pay the fare.
You've paid your dues so many times
you should own this ride.
But then the horses never reach
a destination. They whirl about
the shrilling organ, while high above you
carnival glowflies twinkle and spin.
O! the gloss on the manes and saddles!
O! the animals' dizzying speed!
You'd let yourself faint if not for the peril,
centrifugal force that would fling you out,
OUT! of the hoopla and into the street,
there to mope and head on home
to nurse your bruises, those indigo blotches
that tabby your flesh till all is tender.
After that—you heal—until restlessness
sets in anew. You're driven back to the gaudy snare;
you stand in line; they're waiting for you;
you step on the platform as before;
the gateman rings his electric bell;
the music starts; the world reels and softens
into a pleasant blur once more.

[Hawkman]

I really enjoyed this. I've read it several times now and I keep wanting to read it again. Fortunately I didn't need to pay for my ride. :D

There is a bit of a trip at lines 11 + 12, which, I feel, don't flow as well as they could, and I might, were I the author, revisit some of the line breaks to enhance the natural rhythms of reading and reinforce punctuation. The first line could be omitted with no detriment to the poem. It's over stated and tells, where the subsequent lines reveal.

For some reason I was reminded of Hart Crane's "The Tunnel" whilst reading. The dynamic movement described and the modernistic commentary on living in a heigh-speed world reminded me of Crane's description of a subway ride. "The Tunnel" from The Bridge, employed blank verse effortlessly and differs from your approach, and whereas Crane was more interested in highlighting the mechanical grind of travelling to and from work, you have opted for the description of an adrenaline junkie's need for recreational speed, albeit in a symbolic, and now old-fashioned, carousel. It is very effective.

Live and be well - H

[tailor STATELY]

Well done as usual, and well crafted.

No metaphorical brass ring though ?

I've read the poem three times (or more) and have come up with three different scenarios. 1) the sheer joy of the ride in the child-like sense. 2) The movie with Robt. Redford and Paul Newman: The Sting... the scene with the working girls 3) and then something a little darker: drug use... "a pleasant blur once more".

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Wilyem Clark]

Thanks for the emphasis on structure; I don't see the problem with lines 11 and 12, which I would intone this way:

You'd let yourself FAINT if not for the PERil,
centrifugal FORCE that would FLING you OUT,

unless you are referring to the extra "OUT" that follows, and that is necessary for the arcane subtext that I alone recognize...

[Wilyem Clark]

As for STATELY's comments, I also am reminded of "Something Wicked This Way Comes," though this carousel does not have time-altering properties. (The ride does change with time, however...)