The New Insult PAM Thread

[Pompey Bum]

There is no PAM.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Are we talking about that stuff you spray on your skillet to keep the edges of your fried baloney from sticking to the pan, if so she is worthless.
Ma would press the baloney down with a spatula while it fried, but it took a masonry chisel to separate the baloney from the pan.
Yeah, i gotta say pam is useless.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam spends quality time with Bigfoot.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...most of which is spent pulling Xanthium strumarium from his fur.

(in this instance that spray stuff might help loosen up the strands of hair)

EDIT - a furry rodent with large ears set me straight on how this works.

PAM is a furry rodent with large ears.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM is a Democrat because he heard the Republicans want to lower Texas.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I heard a story about Pam and the football team.

[YesNo]

PAM, although a Democrat, finally agreed to be Donald Trump's running mate.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam throws bread crumbs to goldfish and then claims swans did it.

[YesNo]

Pam thought Bigfoot was cute, too, but Bigfoot's wife had other plans for her.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

ATTENTION: Pompey Bum has just informed me that PAM stands for Person Above Me. Allow me to apologize to him, and indeed to all who stand with him. :-0 I thought Pam was a random name for a fictitious person. Uh, that story about a girl and the football team was actually this cheerleader who seems to have attended every high school ever 'cause everyone hears that same story, no matter when or where they went to school. Good old Pam--Ra Ra!!

[Pompey Bum]

Oh well, if we must:

1. PAM = Person Above Me

2. Insults should be personally directed but never serious. In fact, the sillier the better. And don't forget it's going to be your turn next.

3. If you are inclined to burst into tears at a joke, please post on the What Did You Have For Breakfast? thread instead.

4. As with sex, if you're not having fun you are doing it wrong.

Now then:

PAM eats bananas without peeling them first.

[YesNo]

Like Tyrion Cheddar, I misunderstood what PAM stood for. I also thought Pam was some fictitious girl that we were all mutually agreeing to harass like some idiotic high school students in a teen movie who would later get their butts kicked.

That makes it more difficult. I'll have to revise mine:

Pam thought Bigfoot was cute, too, but Bigfoot's wife had other plans for him.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

PAM and his velveteen friend have a foot fetish.

Btw, here's a relatively recent sighting report from the NAWAC site, occurring January of this year... http://woodape.org/reports/report/detail/26894

[Danik 2016]

PAM only eats on golden plates.

[Danik 2016]

.......

[Pompey Bum]

Pam double posts.

[YesNo]

PAM likes to feed fish while swans aren't looking.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM eavesdrops on beauty parlor conversations.

Gilliatt, did you send that link to George Noory, or whoever the heck is hosting Coast to Coast AM these days? I know Art Bell would've loved it, but I think he's currently retiring from another show somewhere in the Philippines.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM likes to feed fish while swans aren't looking.

You're too sweet to be good at this game, YesNo. :)

Pam gives his ghost friends multiple ectoplasms.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM eavesdrops on beauty parlor conversations.

Gilliatt, did you send that link to George Noory, or whoever the heck is hosting Coast to Coast AM these days? I know Art Bell would've loved it, but I think he's currently retiring from another show somewhere in the Philippines.

Oh sorry, TC. I didn't see you.

Um, Pam hogs the tick bath.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

I live smack dab in the center of Lyme country, PB, so I guard the tick bath with a high-powered weapon. I had Lyme last year and it was about as much fun as an ice water enema.

Pam takes ice water enemas. For fun.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM is too loud for the Quiet Corner.

[YesNo]

PAM must be getting hot in that bunny suit.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam dreams to be hot.

[Clopin]

PAM is one of those idiots agitating for the Canadian national anthem to be changed.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM still doesn't get the premise of the thread. :)

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM wishes there were more bunny fetishists out there.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM pronounces his first name "tire iron."

[YesNo]

Hmmmmm. It looks like PAM has not taken his orgone meds again this morning. :hand:

[Pompey Bum]

Pam gives Bigfoot pedicures.

[North Star]

PAM's otorhinolaryngologist is jealous of Bigfoot's pedicurist.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM freezes every winter and has to be thawed out with a blowtorch.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

"PAM and Bigfoot, sittin' in a tree..."

[Pompey Bum]

Pam caught dengue after a sordid escapade with an aedes mosquito.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM clearly peers in bedroom windows.

[North Star]

PAM is delighted by the attention.

[Pompey Bum]

[Heh heh. Good one, NS]

Pam's big joke in college was to say to his girlfriend, "Are you Finnish?"

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM's girlfriend's most oft repeated line was "Is it in?"

[Pompey Bum]

PAM subscribes to Knob Joke Quarterly.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM subscribes to Trainspotters Monthly.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam pours Spaghetti-0s into his tropical fish aquarium while cackling: "YES, FEED MY LOVELIES! FEEEEEEEEEEED!"

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM has watched Re-Animator, Bride of Re-Animator and Beyond Re-Animator all while wearing his spaceman pajamas.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam doesn't know his as s from his el bo w.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

PAM's mother cooks a good breakfast.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam controls his libido with a firm grip.

[YesNo]

I see that PAM and PAM's PAM are still insulting each other.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam hides under rocks.

[YesNo]

PAM hides in a bunny suit.

[Pompey Bum]

PAM hides in a bunny suit.

In other words I rock under hides? :)

Pam drops bread crumbs into ponds, then scoops up the fish and feeds them to swans. It's just cruel.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

You think that's cruel, PAM's mother made him wear a French maid outfit while he cooked us breakfast.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam is a big silly--with a big, silly heart!

[Tyrion Cheddar]

A relaxing Sunday afternoon for PAM involves squatting on asphalt with a magnifying glass burning bugs.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam will soon be visited by the Ghost of Christmas Trashed.

[Clopin]

Pam is the kind of big dummy who lets his private messages pile up to the degree that if you try to reply to a message he sends you litnet informs you that pam can't currently receive new messages without deleting some of his old ones first.

[Pompey Bum]

Okay PBY is guilty as charged. Thanks. Try again.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

One has to wonder what PAM and PAM's PAM have been chatting about, if that many messages have been exchanged. Normally that kind of thing costs five bucks a minute.

[Pompey Bum]

We've been talking about Pam.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

We've been talking about Pam.

Well played, PAM. Well played.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Oi! PAM! Would you mind terribly? I've been waiting for you to get off the cozy and retort since Moses was young.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam talks to himself.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pam's wife calls him Pooky.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam is starting to feel "basically okay" about his man boobs.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Every few nights, Pam's wife calls him Pokey.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam's little buddy will have to do better than that. ;-)

[Tyrion Cheddar]

That's what Pam's wife says to him every few nights.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam's been hanging with the wrong crowd.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

From what Pam's wife says, Pam doesn't hang at all.

[Pompey Bum]

Pam's trying. Give him that.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Pam might want to look in the back of those men's magazines he's been stacking in his closet since 1973; they've got these devices that...well, just take your mind back to Elvis Costello's hit song "Pump it up!"

[Tyrion Cheddar]

If Pampey Bum would only take off the corset and garters for a few minutes, he could recommence participation in this game.