Midnight

[Steven Hunley]

Midnight

The scene was set and the players had found their marks.

Twenty two tea candles flickered around the edge of the tub. Three clustered in each corner, next to her earrings and between her perfumes.
The tub was filled with mountains of suds scented lavender, and a sea sponge the size of a football floated like an exotic island in the center. She’d never seen anything like it.

“Is this for me?”

I loved it when she asked ridiculous questions. Then she gave me a demure expression. By the Beard of the Profit, and by all the Christian saints, I love it when she gives me a look like this. When a mature sophisticated woman can convey the image of an innocent girl, I simply melt. The translation is this:

“I’m a sophisticated woman, and privy to every secret of the love-maker’s art. But I’m a woman newly in love, so I’m an ingénue too.”

Then she put her hands up in arabesque fashion like Anna Pavlova, forming a minaret.

“Help me in, won’t you?”

©StevenHunley2016




https://youtu.be/wgSikUkjsxs Midnight Rendezvous

[Calidore]

Short but sweet. Two things: 1) "Beard of the _Profit_"?; and 2) you use "look" three times in rapid succession in paragraph four.

[Steven Hunley]

Advice taken and re-write completed!

[Danik 2016]

I like the stting of the scene and the afectionate/humorous description of the woman.
One small correction:I loved it when she askED ridiculous questions.
I'm not sure if "Beard of the Profit" is a mistake or meant to br humorous.

[Captain Pike]

I like, like, liked it in its original form :-)