Fiery
02-16-2016, 05:26 PM
As a preface I want to say this is the first short story I have posted. I got a friend of mine to look through it and check it over. This is my second draft currently and I feel I can't do much more to it as of now. I might go about and use this concept in another longer form story, but I doubt it.
so here it is, constructive criticism is always welcome. And let me know what you think of it as well.
The Wall
As I sat there all alone in my apartment, and I stared at my huge blank wall. It was almost like a massive canvas, ready for a story to be told through colour and shades. sitting there for what felt like days, the wall had started to feel like it had no end, or that its end was too far away to be seen by my tired restless eyes.
I got up instinctively and looked at my wrist to check the time, 00:01:00. I got a cold shiver down my neck like death was standing behind me. As cold as she always was. It felt weird that my body had gotten up at this time. I felt my hunger kicking in and tried to walk towards the kitchen. As if my apartment lifted itself 6 feet, I fell to the ground with a muffled thump. In confusion and disarray, I saw a line on the wall I hadn’t seen before.
Opening the fridge only greeted me with a single dimly lit shelf with nothing on it. Turning around I saw nothing but the flat surfaces, that made up my relatively small empty apartment. Walking into my living room, I saw a book on the table. Although it looked familiar, it was completely blank, with the exception of the front cover where the word “alone” was cut in.
This word alone summarized so simply how I had felt for the last couple of months. I threw it on the ground in a wrathful anger with brute force, when it landed it opened up showing me two blank pages. I left it and headed for the bathroom in a hurry, my feet still feeling weak. I opened the door and entered, inside I washed my face in the sink trying to wake my tired body. Lifting my head I saw a single forget-me-not laying in the sink, I picked it up and stared at it. All while vivid memories of my childhood flooded my mind, drowning my surroundings. I fell to my knees and dropped it, my memories fading as the flower left my fingers grasp, and floated slowly towards the ground.
Back by the wall again, I saw a painted flower that resembled the one from the sink and a single line of words. “He felt lonely as his surroundings swallowed his mind” The words felt haunting. I running for the door I left the apartment. My frontdoor led straight to the park. Where the only thing I saw I saw was a ghostly figure approaching in the distance. As it approached me, I saw that it was a woman who looked almost as old as I did. I could not make out her face, but she had an amaranthine beauty about her that felt oddly reminiscent. It felt like she went through me as she passed, like a spirit or a memory. It didn’t feel cold but warm and compassionate.
Turning around to look at her again I slipped, and woke up back by the wall. Looking up I saw a beating heart drawn on the wall. Beating slowly pumping blood, it started running to the floor in front of me. Standing up the heart started to beat faster, pumping more blood around it and on the floor. The last thing I remember was turning around and seeing what felt like my one true love, leaning closer and kissing me gently on the lips. As our lips touched, everything faded and she was gone. Like a figment of my imagination reminding me of my ever fading sanity. Trying to satisfy my desire for company. I stand here now and look at my wall of insanity, my canvas of feelings. The beating heart of love, the flower from the past, the line of words representing my fading sanity, and my beating heart longing for company.
I sit down and look at it, the heart covering the floor in blood and the flower slowly turning brown. I feel my memories fade and my mind chasing a light. At the end I see her standing, luring me away from the cold lonely depths of life of which I am holding onto. I let go and everything disappears from sight, there is nothing more for me. She takes me away, my angel of death, my last happy memory.
Thank you for reading
Fiery~
so here it is, constructive criticism is always welcome. And let me know what you think of it as well.
The Wall
As I sat there all alone in my apartment, and I stared at my huge blank wall. It was almost like a massive canvas, ready for a story to be told through colour and shades. sitting there for what felt like days, the wall had started to feel like it had no end, or that its end was too far away to be seen by my tired restless eyes.
I got up instinctively and looked at my wrist to check the time, 00:01:00. I got a cold shiver down my neck like death was standing behind me. As cold as she always was. It felt weird that my body had gotten up at this time. I felt my hunger kicking in and tried to walk towards the kitchen. As if my apartment lifted itself 6 feet, I fell to the ground with a muffled thump. In confusion and disarray, I saw a line on the wall I hadn’t seen before.
Opening the fridge only greeted me with a single dimly lit shelf with nothing on it. Turning around I saw nothing but the flat surfaces, that made up my relatively small empty apartment. Walking into my living room, I saw a book on the table. Although it looked familiar, it was completely blank, with the exception of the front cover where the word “alone” was cut in.
This word alone summarized so simply how I had felt for the last couple of months. I threw it on the ground in a wrathful anger with brute force, when it landed it opened up showing me two blank pages. I left it and headed for the bathroom in a hurry, my feet still feeling weak. I opened the door and entered, inside I washed my face in the sink trying to wake my tired body. Lifting my head I saw a single forget-me-not laying in the sink, I picked it up and stared at it. All while vivid memories of my childhood flooded my mind, drowning my surroundings. I fell to my knees and dropped it, my memories fading as the flower left my fingers grasp, and floated slowly towards the ground.
Back by the wall again, I saw a painted flower that resembled the one from the sink and a single line of words. “He felt lonely as his surroundings swallowed his mind” The words felt haunting. I running for the door I left the apartment. My frontdoor led straight to the park. Where the only thing I saw I saw was a ghostly figure approaching in the distance. As it approached me, I saw that it was a woman who looked almost as old as I did. I could not make out her face, but she had an amaranthine beauty about her that felt oddly reminiscent. It felt like she went through me as she passed, like a spirit or a memory. It didn’t feel cold but warm and compassionate.
Turning around to look at her again I slipped, and woke up back by the wall. Looking up I saw a beating heart drawn on the wall. Beating slowly pumping blood, it started running to the floor in front of me. Standing up the heart started to beat faster, pumping more blood around it and on the floor. The last thing I remember was turning around and seeing what felt like my one true love, leaning closer and kissing me gently on the lips. As our lips touched, everything faded and she was gone. Like a figment of my imagination reminding me of my ever fading sanity. Trying to satisfy my desire for company. I stand here now and look at my wall of insanity, my canvas of feelings. The beating heart of love, the flower from the past, the line of words representing my fading sanity, and my beating heart longing for company.
I sit down and look at it, the heart covering the floor in blood and the flower slowly turning brown. I feel my memories fade and my mind chasing a light. At the end I see her standing, luring me away from the cold lonely depths of life of which I am holding onto. I let go and everything disappears from sight, there is nothing more for me. She takes me away, my angel of death, my last happy memory.
Thank you for reading
Fiery~