Biggus
02-10-2016, 04:52 AM
WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 6
We went all-inclusive and booked
A day out to a water park, with flumes
But no-one thought to tell us we needed
To take our own swimming costumes
THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT
The only good thing about
The advent of another Wimbledon
Is that it means you’re two weeks
Closer to football season
PICKUP # 15
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During a night out
Just say to any girl you meet
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone
Said you were looking for me”
ONE DAY IN A FAR MORE CARING WORLD
One day in a far more caring world
Every chicken that ever lives
Will be able to cross the road without
Being judged on their motives
SHE WENT TO THE DOCTORS WITH A LETTUCE LEAF
She went to the doctors with a lettuce leaf
Poking out of her knickers which was quite absurd
And it looked a really nasty sight in truth
But it turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg
WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM
We’ve all heard about the mushroom
Who turned out to be the fungi sort
But he also won gold at the Olympics
So he’s a true champignon of sport
I HAVE A CAR THAT CAN TRANSFORM
I have a car that can transform
It’s a real super car
Although to be fare it’s only
Turned into a road so far
THE RUSSIAN AIRFORCE ARE DROPPING
The Russian Airforce are dropping
Amazon bombs on Syria
They are so called as they keep
Being left with a neighbour
FOGHORN LEGHORN LEFT
Foghorn Leghorn left
The basketball court
Wearing a scowl
Because he misunderstood
When he heard
The ref blew a foul
ROYAL ETIQUETTE
If you can’t turn your back
On her majesty
How can the royal chauffeur
Drive her safely
We went all-inclusive and booked
A day out to a water park, with flumes
But no-one thought to tell us we needed
To take our own swimming costumes
THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT
The only good thing about
The advent of another Wimbledon
Is that it means you’re two weeks
Closer to football season
PICKUP # 15
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During a night out
Just say to any girl you meet
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone
Said you were looking for me”
ONE DAY IN A FAR MORE CARING WORLD
One day in a far more caring world
Every chicken that ever lives
Will be able to cross the road without
Being judged on their motives
SHE WENT TO THE DOCTORS WITH A LETTUCE LEAF
She went to the doctors with a lettuce leaf
Poking out of her knickers which was quite absurd
And it looked a really nasty sight in truth
But it turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg
WE’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT THE MUSHROOM
We’ve all heard about the mushroom
Who turned out to be the fungi sort
But he also won gold at the Olympics
So he’s a true champignon of sport
I HAVE A CAR THAT CAN TRANSFORM
I have a car that can transform
It’s a real super car
Although to be fare it’s only
Turned into a road so far
THE RUSSIAN AIRFORCE ARE DROPPING
The Russian Airforce are dropping
Amazon bombs on Syria
They are so called as they keep
Being left with a neighbour
FOGHORN LEGHORN LEFT
Foghorn Leghorn left
The basketball court
Wearing a scowl
Because he misunderstood
When he heard
The ref blew a foul
ROYAL ETIQUETTE
If you can’t turn your back
On her majesty
How can the royal chauffeur
Drive her safely