What I Like About the South

[Hawkman]

The acid plant steams gently
in Louisiana’s heat
and leaves the flowers wilting
on their steel toe-capped feet;
the squirrels and the chipmunks
are all carrying the plague,
whilst the river’s full of bugs
that eat your brain and leave you vague.

The Spanish moss hangs limply
as it dangles from the boughs,
the air is scarcely moving,
though the gators still know how;
so quietly and guilefully
they watch the folk on shore
and chew upon unwary souls
that wandered by before.

A girl with fruited hat is seen
to look a little peaky,
and one of her subordinates,
(who’s feeling rather cheeky)
casually suggests she might
prefer to step indoors,
and graciously the belle replies,
“This temperature’s a bore!

The safety suit and gasmask
do not show me at my best,
and in these climes I didn’t need
to wear my thermal vest…”
Gallantly the noble swain
then proffers her his arm
and like a perfect gentleman
escorts her out of harm.

Within the metal edifice
that constitutes the plant,
the air-conditioning system
vainly tries to cope, but can’t.
Here legionella freely breeds
And everyone’s infected—
But sadly, ‘til the staff drop dead—
Completely undetected.

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed. Quite amusing: albeit in a wry way.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/07/28/brain-eating-amoeba-louisiana-water-station-ascension-parish/30813235/

Experts say the water is safe to drink, but they caution not to get the water up the nose.
- USA TODAY NETWORK WWLTV-TV 10:24 a.m. EDT July 29, 2015

I take it that what you like about the "South" is that it's not like home and far away.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Lokasenna]

Excellent stuff! You combine some wonderfully vivid imagery with a beautifully handled streak of pitch-black comedy. Very effective.

Also, should that not be 'belle' in the third stanza?

[prendrelemick]

Love the gentle malice.

[YesNo]

Also on the Miami side of Florida if the water keeps rising the gators will get their mangrove swamps back. http://www.weather.com/news/climate/news/south-florida-sea-level-rise-mass-exodus

[Haunted]

Quite an irony in the title. Reminds me of the BP disaster, even then there are other silent killers as you've shown. Do miss the bayous and Spanish moss, tell me it aint so! Love the part about the “girl with fruited hat” seen through “safety suit and gas mask”, poignant. The tension you created here Hawk is remarkable.

[Hawkman]

tS: thanks for reading and quite enjoying :) You might be interested to learn that the title owes more than a little to a Phil Harris track. He lists slightly jollier reasons for his predilection for southern climes. This one has been languishing on my hard drive since the middle of last year, so the date of your quoted news item would be roughly conremporary with the time of writing. However, my information regarding brain-eating amoeba actually came from a different source ;)

Loki: thank you too. Glad you appreciated the gallows humour! Good catch on my ringer (or clanger if you prefer). I've corrected it.

PM: you too, comrade. Thanks for dropping in and relishing the gentility of my malice hahahahaha.

Y/N: hello and thanks for reading and commenting. Yeah, I'm all for the gators inheriting the earth. So folks, keep driving your gas-guzzling Hummers and flying round the world. The older I get, the more I like a mild winter :devil:

Hi Haunt, and thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. The girl with the fruited hat is actually a fellow litnetter with an acid fixation. She challenged me to write a poem about the joys of acid manufacturing in the heart of Louisiana. This was the result. I'm just glad that more than two people have read it lol.

Thanks again to all who've read and commented. Live and be well - H

[Snowqueen]

:seeya:

I thought I should stop by and read some of your poems.

Really enjoyed your humour and cool imagery. :D

[DieterM]

Snowqueen, thanks for bumping this one! A real gem. I'm always a bit wary of rhymes, but when it's done in such a clever and unobtrusive way, it's pure joy. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem, Hawkman, the images, the wry wit, everything. Even the rhymes that don't really rhyme on first sight (swain - gentleman) do so when one tries to pronounce the words "in the Southern style".

[Hawkman]

Hi, Snowy. Thanks for disinterring this offering and allowing it to flavour the air with the miasma of its decomposition! :D sadly, I've never been much of a Jerry Lewis fan, and, on the whole, I'd rather watch and listen to Carmen than wilfully endure prolonged exposure to his pale imitation. But, I guess, it takes all sorts ;)

Dieter, thank you too for stopping by. I'm not sure what you mean by, "rhymes that don't really rhyme..." If they don't rhyme, they're not rhymes... Swain and gentleman do not rhyme and are not intended to rhyme. The actual rhyme here occurs in the words, arm and harm. The stanzas consist of eight lines and the rhymes occur on four of them, but only on the even numbers.

Ah declare, ah never gave a thought to a Southern accent in mah recitation, though ah can see that a person might, if so inclined... ;)

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Live and be well - H