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View Full Version : Hi I was just wondering if you could make recommendation for my coursework? Thanks!



Padman
12-17-2015, 12:18 PM
By the way it's about a young kid who's in a drug den. Happy reading!

I woke up, not knowing where I was. Above me was a small, hanging light, only the filament exposed, the protection of the glass shattered. The room was filled with smoke; glass shards from windows that had been shattered lay on the ash-covered tiles, mattresses laced with blood and tar were planted next to each other vertically along the floor. Teenagers lay on them, jittering, curled up in a fetus position, sleeping next to the needles that relaxed them enough to be able to sleep. Empty wrappers and bottles were strewn across the floor; left there by strangers I called my friends. However I hardly knew them, but I had no one else to call mine. My vision blurred into two pictures, slowly coming together, my head throbbed in agony, all I could hear was a high pitched sound like a tuning fork held to my ear. However white light flowed gently through the broken window so that it was shining and rolling over my body. My legs seized as I got up, my arms on the other hand flopped, aching from the injections. I shivered and walked into the middle of the cramped room, taking in my surroundings. First I went to the window and shut it, stopping light from entering. Then my eyes caught sight of the door and I managed to stumble towards it, grabbing the handle with my right hand. The door was coated with dust, only hand prints patched onto it like a child’s hand painting. The door handle screeched as it twisted round and round, and as I opened it a gust of wind flood into the room, drowning people with fresh air. I glanced through the opening whilst yawning and saw a mirror; in it I saw my pale reflection.
I saw my face. My eyes were bloodshot, surrounded by black rings as a result of my tiredness, my yellow teeth were scattered in my mouth far away from each other, being squashed inwards by my collapsing and hollow cheeks. I closed my mouth; the red elixir of life was slowly seeping out of my cracked and dry lips. My loose and long strands of bleached white hair covered my eyes unkempt. All of this was hiding underneath a black hoodie, too scared to be seen by anybody but me, the arms of the hoodie were severed at the elbow, exposing the dotted blood spots on my skin. My arms were weak and frail, too thin to even tug the door with any strength

This is all so far, will keep posting to keep you up to date on what's happening and the changes I've made. Thanks for reading!

Padman
12-18-2015, 10:53 AM
Hi guys I changed it so here's the new update, will keep you posted!

Diary entry, 14th December 2014

The day started with me waking up, not knowing where I was. Above me was a small, hanging light, only the filament exposed, the protection of the glass shattered. The room was filled with smoke; glass shards from windows that had been shattered laid on the ash-covered tiles, mattresses laced with blood and tar were planted next to each other horizontally. Teenagers lay on them, jittering, curled up in a fetus position, sleeping next to the needles that relaxed them enough to be able to sleep. Empty wrappers and bottles were strewn across the floor; left there by strangers I called my friends. I hardly knew them, but I had no one else to call mine. My vision blurred into two pictures, slowly coming together, my head throbbed in agony, all I could hear was a high pitched sound, like a tuning fork, held to my ear. White light flowed gently through the broken window so that it was shining and rolling over my body. My legs seized as I got up, my arms, on the other hand, flopped, aching from the injections. I shivered and walked into the middle of the cramped room, taking in my surroundings. First I went to the curtains and shut them, stopping light from entering. Then my eyes caught sight of the door and I managed to stumble towards it, grabbing the handle with my right hand. The door was coated with dust. The door handle creaked as it twisted round and round, and as I opened it a gust of wind flooded into the room, drowning people with fresh air. I glanced through the opening whilst yawning and saw a mirror; in it I saw my pale reflection.

I saw my face. My eyes were bloodshot, surrounded by dark black rings as a result of my tiredness. My cheeks were hollow, caving inwards. I closed my mouth; the red elixir of life was slowly seeping out of my cracked, and dry, lips. My loose and long strands of bleached white hair covered my eyes - unkempt. All of this was hiding underneath a black hoodie, too scared to be seen by anybody but me. The arms of the hoodie were severed at the elbow, exposing the dotted blood spots on my skin. My arms were thin and frail; too weak to even pull the door with any strength. Inch by inch it opened, allowing me to see more of myself in the mirror. I was wearing jeans, rolled up by my mum as they were too long for me, and black plimsolls. I walked out into the hallway and towards the door leading out into the street, wanting some fresh air for my headache. Fifteen meters from the door, there was, to my right, a painting of a crying child pleading for help, his black hair combed over to the side leaving a perfectly straight parting. Ten meters away, there was a staircase leading up towards a child’s playroom where I used to sleep. Five meters away and I slowed down, pulling the strings on my hoodie to cover my face even more, not wanting anybody to see it. When I was only a meter from the door I reached my arms out, clutching the handle, it turned and a soft click sounded. The door swung open.

I walked outside, the air hit me as I came out, pounding me back into the hallway, not wanting me to infect nature’s beauty. Yet I persisted and walked out, the air made me feel blissful, it’s smell lifted me off the floor and into heaven. Then the noise hit me back to the ground,